Last week sports fans shared a chuckle after reading Steve Simmon’s farewell piece to now former Maple Leaf Phil Kessel. Fatso’s around the continent loved that a three time All Star with a fat face would indulged himself for a daily hot dog.

“The hot dog vendor who parks daily at Front and John Sts. just lost his most reliable customer. Almost every afternoon at 2:30 p.m., often wearing a toque, Phil Kessel would wander from his neighbourhood condominium to consume his daily snack. And now he’s gone. Just like that. The Maple Leafs could no longer stomach having Kessel around, the first player to be both punished and rewarded for the saddest Leafs season in history.”

Since then however, local Toronto blogs have broken down the tape and gone next level to pull out all of the inconsistencies in Simmon’s narrative.

It’s not our style however to rip this poor columnist here at The Yuppie Yinzer.  We have taken it upon ourselves to go ahead and help our new favorite Penguin feel at home and should he be interested in continuing that habit, we have found just the place.

Boom.  Right across the street from the Omni William Penn hotel on William Penn Place, Pittsburgh Hot Dog’s combine the finest weiner, Sabrett with the best bread in Pittsburgh, Mancini’s.

It’s a win win Phil (I feel like I can call you Phil since we’re both super athletes cultivating mass).  For only $3 you get the best hot dog, and it’s only a short stroll from your new office.

Best of luck Phil, how about you and me meet for lunch? First dog’s on me?