WPXI A Union Township man was arrested for simple assault and harassment after he allegedly punched another man and ransacked a home because he didn’t get a Big Mac, according to authorities.

Police said Thomas Veres, 47, became irate when he returned home Wednesday to find that the other man, 58, had eaten three Big Macs without saving one for him.

Good for the police on this one. Forget about being locked up for assault, this guy should be tossed in the loony bin for being the slightest bit angry that he missed out on a left over Big Mac. Any sane person knows the only way to eat McDonalds is fresh, if you’ve ever played the role of Mr. Nice Guy and taken drive-thru back home its a clear difference in quality. Every second that food goes uneaten it becomes twice as shitty and forget about any help from a microwave. Next to curing the common cold, reheating McDonalds has stumped the smartest scientists for decades.

Shock of the century that this took place in Union Township and not the McDonalds on Smithfield. True story, the 500 block of Smithfield Street downtown is the single most scummy place in the entire city. I think every bus route has a stop in front of that McDonalds and it is not uncommon to see guys like Mr. Veres here asking for some spare change.

Speaking of McDonalds, last week they announced the implementation of kiosk’s allowing guests to fully customize their orders. It’s not my style to brag but The Yuppie Yinzer called it. This is a savy PR move making it seem like they give a shit about their customer while the execs laugh straight to the bank since these kiosks just cut about 5 employees at every restaurant.