And just like that the team with the second most wins in baseball is thrown out after barely enjoying a cup of coffee and losing to another dominant ace.

Right out of the gate the entire city was ready to make Clint Hurdle walk the plank when his brain went full noodle and he opted for a defensive lineup, benching the teams leader in home runs.

As a result we had Marte batting cleanup and the lineup in general falls off a cliff after cleanup.  If the Cubs could slip through the first with no damage being done they could count on the second and third inning being a breeze.  In the end Rodriguez wouldn’t even see a pitch and Pedro Alvarez would be subbed in too little too late.  You can’t put your home run hitter ahead of the pitcher and expect him to see anything.  In the end the only baller in that stadium wearing a Pirates jersey was sitting behind home plate.

The dagger came way early last night when Kyle Schwarber’s fat face launched one into the drink in the third to make it 3-0.

The Pirate’s last ditch effort after another potential rally ended via double play was to just get dirty and remove Arrieta themselves (kinda like when the Cubs took out Jung Ho Kang).

Naturally the benches cleared but I’ll be honest I didn’t expect much of a skirmish but Sean Rod came looking for a fight.

It didn’t end there, the “starter” who got yanked out before he could log a single at bat returned back to the dugout and took his aggression out on the water cooler & winning the internet.

https://twitter.com/piratescooler/status/651947412387459073

https://twitter.com/piratescooler/status/651950867042713604

https://twitter.com/piratescooler/status/651953814128488448

The fan’s earned some hype going into last nights came too but unfortunately that all blew up in their face before they could get anything started.  After becoming the laughing stock of the baseball world with their predetermined chants it was not the best look to hear NONE OF THEM.

Instead viewers turned off the TV talking about the other fans.  We’ve already mentioned the boy behind home plate who had the most heart in the stadium but how about your boy here trailblazing the return of the mullet.

Grind daily, grind often my friend.

This poor guy here meanwhile got all dressed up for no payoff. Now he has to rock that gear all the way back to his car and drive home like that.  Hey man I wouldn’t fault you if you dropped it off in a dumpster on the way to the parking lot.

Lastly, sad endings for Aramis Ramirez and AJ Burnett who both played their final game.  Makes no sense Clint Hurdle didn’t bottle up that emotion and get Aramis into the lineup. That guy was all heart and would have been a nice piece in the lineup looking to go out on top.

Not much mention of AJ either last night.  In only a few short years he captivated the city and you’d think he played his who career here winning several World Series.  Fortunately he was able to ride off in the sunset…

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