https://www.instagram.com/p/BIntyllg477/?taken-by=jhharrison92

https://www.instagram.com/p/BIntiDKgva8/?taken-by=jhharrison92

We already knew James was shaping the greatest product of this generation with his firm “no participation trohpy’s” stance.

https://www.instagram.com/p/6aXCJ2JFi5/

Today he silenced anyone who questions the kind of upbringing his Juniors have. If seeing him launch his kids to the moon on the way to his pool doesn’t shoot envy through your veins, check yourself… Do you have a pulse?

Before summer’s were just another Wednesday, and before you realized how many people were using the pool as a convenient toilet, going to the pool was the tits. We got our first notion of the pussification of America when high dives were replaced with water slides but that could not stop anyone from asking an adult to sling them into the deep end.

The catch however was the adults were busy rocking dad bod’s before they were cool and the result was hardly as exciting as free fall from a high dive. Fast forward to present day and we get to see what it would be like to grow up with a freak beast athlete exceeding the heights of any common high dive.

I won my fair share of trophies the old fashioned way and never felt deprived if I did not make it to the winner circle but today I know what that deprivation tastes like and for that reason I’d like wish upon James Harrison that he adopt a 29 year old accountant to make up for lost time and shoot me to the moon a few times.

Please