Special thanks to the Washington Capitals for participating this season. Better luck next year.
Not.
In all seriousness I imagine the Capitals booked their tee times when this news broke. If you think it’s all hyperbole let’s go back to game 6 a year ago, almost to the day…
If the people who push the buttons is smart he has that song queued up because when it hits that place is gonna be LIT
Unicorns.
For a majority of my life they were a fictional creature but The New Day changed all that years ago and now you can’t go anywhere without being inundated by Unicorns.
The latest Unicorn creations came by way of the Hometown Burger Chain Burgatory and National Coffee Brand Starbucks.
Last month I canceled all obligations to hit up my local Burgatory and I’ll be honest it was fan freakin tastic.
It was a Lucky Charms derivative and with the addition of Vanilla Vodka it made for one of the tastiest shakes around. I’m no Burgatory shill so I will add that the pooping was certainly one of the more magical bowels but I would order again if it’s availability wasn’t so limited.
Fast forward 3 weeks and Starbucks is all aboard the Unicorn hype train offering a Unicorn Frappuccino.
This time around they weren’t going to parlay the deliciousness of a premier cereal with their iconic coffee but instead spring for a fruity beverage that started sweet and ended sour, changing colors along the way.
When all the pixie dust had settled their had to be a winner and it wasn’t even close with Burgatory taking Starbucks to Suplex City.
Maybe it was the order in which I enjoyed but coming off that Burgatory concoction it was clear which company had mastered frozen treats. The Starbucks version was a bit runny and in the end the sourness made me less likely to rave about it than the sweet Burgatory shake.
So who’s going to be the next ‘corny company jumping on the bandwagon.
What a time to be alive.
When the Donald won the election and became president in the United States I’m sure a lot of people sat up in their beds and said “shit, I can win an election.” This is no more evident than Kane now running for mayor of Knox Tennessee.
From his humble roots in hell, fire, and brimstone where he showed up in the WWE to battle his brother that set him on fire as a child, to Knox Tennessee where he settled down to raise his family, the former demon is out to make Tennessee great.
Side note: I love how his official campaign logo is literally centered around fire…
It’s kinda been his thing for the last 20 years, I highly doubt any country bumpkin that dares to run against Kane will have that kind of fire.
Can’t wait to hear about his healthcare initiative…
Fortune.com Wendy’s promised a man free chicken nuggets for a year—but only if he gets 18 million retweets.
Carter Wilkerson, a man from Reno, Nevada, tweeted at the fast food chain on Tuesday, asking how many retweets he would need for a year of free chicken nuggets. Wendy’s replied to Wilkerson with the 18 million retweet stipulation—a nearly impossible feat, considering Wilkerson would need 5.6% of the Twitter user base to retweet him, according to CNBC.
What’s more, Ellen Degeneres’ selfie at the Oscars in 2014—with was loaded with celebrities—has over 3 million retweets. Her tweet—which is also the most retweeted tweet of all time, notes CNBC—is still about 14.7 million less than the 18 million Wilkerson apparently needs.
Chicken Nuggets are all the rage these days. #MeVsNuggets was trending in March when Stephan Sharp tried to eat more chicken nuggets than the Denver Nuggets scored points.
He tapped out at 55 while Denver dropped 113.
Pray for Stephan as he went with BK nuggets, poor guy.
This time it’s Wendy’s nuggets going viral….
This isn’t the first time the Wendy’s Twitter made headlines. Back in January they “owned” some guy who called bull shit on Wendy’s “never frozen” claim. He said what we were all thinking and when Wendy’s reminded him the beef is simply refrigerated, not fronzen, everyone acted like the red headed slut dropped Carter in cold blood.
Nowadays they’re back in the news because some jabroni asked how many retweets it would take to get free chicken nuggets.
Wendy’s replied and for the last week this guy’s been spamming Twitter HARD looking for any and all retweets.
My first thought in all this, “Why in the blue hell are these people settling for the second tier of fast food nuggets, let alone spending entire days grinding for retweets for said subpar nuggets.”
That’s when my big brain put two and two together and went for gold.
Pulled the pin and tossed a Twitter grenade into cyber space, with any luck they’d return an airdrop of nuggets….
Calm down people don’t panic… this isn’t bad news, we’re on their radar. They’re testing us we need to play this right….
Well played….
BOOOOOOOM
That folks is how it’s done. I didn’t pester my followers requesting retweets, I didn’t spam your Facebook wall with a story about some jokers shortcoming, and I certainty didn’t settle for anything but the most elite chicken nugget.
I’ll just ride off into the sunset with my free Chick Fil A
MY PLEASURE
First off, The Everyone Get’s a Title Wrestling Podcast is LIVE breaking down Wrestlemania 33, SUBSCRIBE on iTunes to download as soon as it drops.
https://www.podbean.com/media/player/xinb6-696f3c?from=yiiadmin
Back to your regularly scheduled blog…
I’ve fallen into Youtube holes more times that I’d like to admit with videos of kids wrestling on their trampoline in their backyard. These buggers have iMovie down to a T and are dubbing in theme songs and providing commentary, really hits home because I know if I were 20 years younger I could be pumping out just as good if not better content.
It really hits home because if I were 10 years old there is a billion percent chance I would be putting all these kids out of business with my own line of videos.
Fast forward to this morning when this treasure drops on my Facebook feed.
So many questions, in a video that only a few minutes.
How did they set a ring up in the middle of this town?
For as poor as it looks where on earth did they come up with actual aprons!?
Great quality recording and graphics this has to be a Jimmy Kimmel prank right.
Check it out for yourself
Legit shots to the back. Legit bumps, what is happening here?
Naturally this triggered a dive into a YouTube hole and it turns out they have their own iterations of all the major shows.
The full Money in the Bank match
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ_2_mELB_o&t=308s
A Royal Rumble
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOM9B9s-bYs&t=791s
A fatal four way
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGwh6eOWw8o
Jinder Mahal may have screwed up when he returned to the WWE, he could have been the face of this franchise…
Smell that?
No not the blooming cum trees, its the best time of the year. We’re well on our way to Wrestlemania and are about to tip off the NCAA college basketball tournament.
For the next 3 weeks you’re going to get stuck at the water cooler listening to some jabroni talk about how he had every upset somewhere on one of his billion brackets but we all know you’d rather be rambling about wrestling.
One of the dozen main events this year is a rematch of the main event of Wrestlemania 27.. with a slight twist… the original main eventers are being pushed down the card and tagging with their sexy women.
Is this untapped potential? The WWE network is loaded with tournaments these days…. We’ve seen cruiserweights, we’ve seen guys in the UK, we’ve heard about the possibility of a women’s tournament, maybe its time for the men to tag up with their better half’s and go to battle.
Let’s lay the groundwork.
All teams are made up of couples that have been romantically linked, both privately and publicly.
It will be understood that all talent is in the prime of their career. We cant have a fair tournament without the likes of Macho Man & Miss Elizabeth and the Gurrerro’s so they’re live and well and ready to entertain the masses.
The committee (myself) burned hours of company time this afternoon researching how many championships each person won. I put a higher weight on world championships as well as those won on WWE programming. We seeded them 1-32 on merit and we’re going to let the field play itself out.
We will break down the action week by week on The Everyone Gets a Title Wrestling Podcast on iTunes. (Did you subscribe yet? What are you waiting for? 5 stars while you’re in there….)
Without further ado, I present the bracket.
Tune into The Everyone Gets a Title Wrestling Podcast & join the conversation @TheTitlePodcast.
Talking Smack, arguably one of the best hours of WWE content each and every week kicked off from backstage of PPG Paints Arena last night and hosts Renee Young & Daniel Bryan offered some very kind words about the city of Pittsburgh.
I even went ahead and gif’ed that view the hosts talked about, earning a ‘like’ from Renee herself
DB and Renee are damn right, Pittsburgh is an underrated city. But not just in its beauty and charm, Pittsburgh is a damn great WRESTLING city.
Lets review.
We’ll start with one of (if not the) greatest moment in WWE history when, at the old Civic Arena, The Undertaker tossed Mankind off Hell in a Cell
Even in recent memory at the Royal Rumble in 2014 the “Yes Movement” took off after Daniel Bryan was nowhere near the actual Royal Rumble itself. Consol Energy Center booed poor Rey Mysterio out of the building at #30 (even tho the network’s editing will tell you otherwise) and even went as far as CHEERING for Roman Reigns when it came down to he and Batista.
Most recently, on the first Raw of the “new era” Sasha Banks finally won her first WWE Women’s Championship.
In addition to seminal moments throughout WWE history Pittsburgh is also home to WWE Hall of Famers Bruno Sammartino & Kurt Angle.
So yes Renee you’re right Pittsburgh IS an underrated city. Thanks for the shoutout.
It’s a crime that the Royal Rumble is back in Philly next year after hosting the 2015 Rumble. Don’t you dare be sour WWE about the crowd rightfully hijacking the rumble, without that Wrestlemania 30’s main event would have stunk out loud.
Side Note: DB is 100% right, Jimmy John’s is absolute DOG SHIT
If you haven’t guess already, I’m a big time mark for The Rock. He’s basically my spirit animal and in my autobiography one day title “Live Life Like You’re a Professional Wrestler” we’ll dive into the specifics of being a charismatic & a confident bad ass wherever you go.
And while I can’t seem to sync up my diet to The Rock’s to achieve similar results that has not stopped me from tying to emulate him in the gym. For the record I’ve bought dozens of Muscle & Fitness Magazine all sharing the same cover model…. The Rock.
I’ve got albums in my phone titles “Train Like Dwayne” with workouts for your entire body.
I already have 3 of his Under Amour T-Shirts.
I have an alarm clock where The Rock himself calls me a pussy and kicks my ass out of bed.
I’ve created a Gif of all his pictures on Instagram where he’s flexing with the caption “Arms” that I send out when its arms day (everyday?)
So when The Rock drops a workout video on YouTube you better believe all other extracurricular activities are canceled and its a gym on.
The best part of this 4 minute video is there’s no cardio. Not soundtrack is gonna make cardio look as hard as The Rock and lets face it we all know he’s peppering in some cardio so he can set the bar for epic cheat days.
Fun fact, cut season doesn’t actually start until daylight’s saving time but thanks to The Rock we can get an early jump on the competition.
Side note: Hey Rock I need these shoes so I can max rep every weight in the gym…
A long time passion project is finally a reality…
After the success of The Everyone Gets a Trophy NFL Pickem Podcast we’re taking things to the next level. It’s rare to see such an enormous debut on the road to Wrestlemania but here we are breaking down all the action on Raw, Smackdown Live, and The WWE Network.
Here at The Yuppie Yinzer we have a little podcast called The Everyone Gets a Trophy Podcast. Check it out we made all kinds of cash during the regular season.
While some bettors might be ok picking a team to cover a spread and winning around 91% of what they risk (it takes $110 to make $100 if you took the Steelers and the points last week).
One of the ways we maximized our winnings was through various betting options that can eliminate the need for a winner to win by a certain number of points. Often times you know the Steelers can beat the Browns. If they’re favored by 6 but only win by a field goal that’s a nice win but we’re losers because we didn’t cover the 6 points.
We used “teasers” all year where instead of picking 4 games and marking 10:1 we sell back 6 of those points and and take a smaller payout.
Looking at the conference championships there’s only 2 games to pick from and only 8 combinations of winners and if you’re dead set on two teams you can bet them both to win and take home major loot.
For the sake of an argument let’s say the two favorites the Pats and Falcons are going to win but we’re not sure about them covering the spread so we’ll tease them down 6 points.
So there you go a 90.91% rate of return just for two teams to win outright. But if you look close we actual have the Falcons +2. If we’re confident they win is there any way to sell back the points and just take them to win?
Yes. In this case let’s just parlay the two moneylines.
Here we go. On that same $100 bet we now win $119 extending our rate of return to 119%.
It’s gonna take us going next level but we can get you and even better rate of return. Join me in the prop section.
Here we have the opportunity to bet the exact Super Bow matchup. That’s exactly what we did when we parlayed the two winners so let’s see what the exact matchup Pats-Falcons pats out.
Boom. Look at that another 11% increase returning 130%.
It’s going to take a whole nother level for us to break down an opportunity to get that rate of return to maybe 350%.
If we pick both the Falcons to beat the Pats and the Pats to beat the Falcons there’s even more money to win. See below.
In this case we’re gonna risk that same $100 twice but we’re guaranteed to win at least one so it’s safe.
Of the Pats win we his +260 and out $100 bet wins $260 however we have to remember that second bet is a loss so deduct that $100 and we’re left with $160, a 160% rate of return.
But if the Falcons can pull out the W then we are winning that bet at +450 but after subtracting out the losing Pats bet we win $350 for a 350% rate of return.
That of course is take the favorites. If you think we’re getting a dog Super Bowl and you want Packers and Steelers we’re making $800 off Steelers beating Packers or $700 off Packers winning another as compared to making $683 off the straight parlay.
Let’s go make some money.
TheYuppieYinzer 