CBS News H.J. Heinz said Monday it is launching a new ketchup flavor that includes the popular red Thai hot sauce Sriracha. The Pittsburgh-based company said it will start selling a ketchup blended with Sriracha flavor this month. Sriracha’s ingredients include chili pepper paste, garlic, and vinegar. The sauce is named for and patterned after flavors from eastern Thailand.

Just like Hollywood, it looks like there’s no creativity left in the food industry. I’m sure part of the problem here is Heinz was bought out by Berkshire Hathaway almost a year ago and since then has had laser beams on the bottom line. Might as well jump on this overrated bandwagon, sit back, and collect.

Could be worse, they could be like the suckers at Lays who paid out $50,000 for some schmuck Tyler Raineri to suggest Sriracha as a flavor and start the national nightmare.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeUCoMm3DGE

That’s your Song of the Year right there. Sure, over weight British people are so chic right now and the mindless voters spammed us with Sam Smith the way they did Adele a while back, but Sia’s where the money’s at.

How many Sam Smith songs inspired viral YouTube sensations?

The Grammy’s are huge, but they have a disappointing history awarding “Best New Artist” to one hit wonders and Sam Smith is no different.

2014: Macklemore- Only staying power was his haircut
2013: fun.- Where are they?
2012: Bon Iver- Who?
2011: Esperanza Spalding- Again…. Who?

Do better Grammy’s.

Real shame our homegirl Maddie Ziegler couldn’t bring a Grammy home. Yes I know she started as the dancer in the music video, but she has since become the face of Sia in all her TV appearances. I don’t hate the addition of Kristen Wiig either to these performances since it still has a fun vibe and isn’t creepy like Shia Lebeouf.

If Dance Moms was half the show it could be we’d get all kinds of behind the scenes action on Maddie’s rise to stardom.

Instead we get Abby Lee eating whoppers. (Just guessing they blurred it out)

http://www.eonline.com/videos/embed/231173

Source

Flashback. Daniel Bryan takes Brie Bella on a nice date, they go back to his place and to quote Jim Ross, “Business Picks Up.” One thing leads to another and they’re past the foreplay, DB reaches over to his night stand and roots around for a condom when Brie stops him. “You don’t need that,” she whispers… “Just pull out.”

Daniel Bryan’s gives her one look and jumps on top of his bed.

Well then, there’s one way a dime can continue to rack up points. Granted they’re married and millionaires so a kid coming along isn’t like it is for the millions of college kids who will apply the same logic.

Total Divas coming along was a great way to jolt your relationship. Pretty much a chick show starring women you watch on Raw every week so you were in. Get your bae interested and best case scenario they’re inspired to hit the gym a few more days a week and now with this new detail, let you say fuck condoms and just pull out.

Side note, I pretty much killed it with that erotic narrative I wrote there. Fuck I might as well get more thoughts on paper and sell my own erotica to housewives in line for next weeks “50 Shades of Grey” midnight release.

Time Money definitely doesn’t grow on trees, but it might be growing in your bowels. If you’re really healthy, you can sell your poop to sick people who need it for as much as $13,000 a year.

Science does it again. Real good opportunity for the healthy out there because unlike donating your sperm which can lead to all kinds of bastard children, you’re just sending a little dookie to someone in need.

As big a win this could be for the donor, it’s pretty tragic on the receivers end. In order to benefit they need to get the poop into their belly, either by endoscopy or swallowed capsules. Double sword of shit to say the least.

Gotta give it up for the doctors in charge of this idea. They could be using their nuclear brain power to make millions doing a lot of things. Good to see they’re giving back to anyone whose lone ability is the art of shitting.

Brian Williams is pretty much this generation’s Tom Brokaw. Always doing his thing when big time news breaks, with a style of delivery that’s tough to compete with these days.

On top of being a hell of anchor, he’s also a father. About a month ago he flipped on the ole tv to see how his daughter Allison was doing on her TV show Girls.

It’s weird enough to watch sex on broadcast TV with your parents in the room let alone see your little angel have her salad tossed. There’s no doubt this had to put Brian on suicide watch even though he tried to spin it as “acting” which is always a bull shit cop out when dealing with loved ones participating in dicey sex scenes.

Irregardless time ticked on and a month later Brian’s PTSD caused him to come clean about a story he told involving taking on fire while covering the war in Iraq. Truth is his chopper wasn’t blown out of the sky and years after somehow never getting called out on his bs story he reveals he misremembered the truth.

Now today he’s trying to get ahead of his punishment, much the same way you probably did as a kid when you voluntarily ate a bar of soap to avoid any real punishment the first time your parents heard you say ass.

The real problem here is the perception that anyone at war can’t be questioned. Guy with a state of the art camera crew comes back from Iraq with a hell of a story but no photos or videos? First move has to be calling him out to produce proof. Someone dropped that ball and now poor Brian has to take a vacation because now people are offended.

Hate vocal minority’s, let Brian live. Fortunately there is probably plenty of tape out there for him to continue rapping.

http://youtu.be/Wpd2VaFt5iY

PPG Pittsburgh Steelers running back Le’Veon Bell was admitted into a court program this morning that, if completed successfully, will lead to the marijuana charges filed against him last summer being dismissed.

Attorney Robert Del Greco, who represented Mr. Bell, said his client will be in full compliance with the program. “He’s relieved to have the matter finally resolved with the opportunity to earn dismissal and expungement,” he said. “I expect Le’Veon will not be a repeat offender.” Mr. Del Greco said he expects the completion of the criminal matter to initiate the NFL’s potential sanctions. “I cannot predict the outcome, but the guidelines would suggest maybe a one- or two-game suspension.”

It was all fun and games last week when Josh Gordon was shut down for an entire season when he had a few drinks on the plane. Now the LeVeon Bell might face a suspension for his troubles last August I’m pissed.

The LeGarrette Blount – Steeler story may be one of the craziest roller coasters of emotion I’ve experienced as a fan. At first it sounded promising, perhaps offering a thunder and lightning dynamic in the backfield. Then he was the bad apple who was with Bell during this arrest so he became enemy number one. When the Steelers black balled him before cutting him I thought they were outsmarting themselves. This would only escalate when Bell couldn’t play in the playoffs and we didn’t have a running back and lost to the Ravens. Even amidst the rumors Blount orchestrated his exit, which made no sense, I still was bitter how the Steelers handled his tenure.

No with this latest chapter I’m pissed we ever touched LeGarrette Blount. Classic tale of a hot chick who ends up being a slut you kick to the curb only to find out 3 months later that she married a millionaire and oh yea gave you herpes.

Steelers have to find a proficient running back now this offseason. Gotta have a guy who can carry the load when needed and isn’t another glorified backup.

Ha see what I did there? Click baited you into the most one sided war ever. These kinds of artsy fartsy shoots are worthless for Kim because she became famous for a sex tape.

The minute you see someone get banged on tape is the minute to lose any and all interest in seeing them naked. There’s hours upon hours of free HD porno out there, no ones getting off on still pictures in this day and age.

That being said, the interest in photos is when the subject, in this case, Kendall, starts to smut it up. No ones going to lose their nut on this picture, but rather this picture opens the door for another dime to make a sextape.

The Kardashians have a bit left in the tank, but this nip from Kendall all but confirmed momager Kris has an ace in the hole and will wait until the empire’s dieing day to drop the Kendall sex tape.

And THAT my friends will be worth a click.

Kim’s photos NSFW
Kendall’s photo NSFW

My 2015 brain’s first instinct is to rip these two for spending a minute of divorce court on their little plush animals.

My 1999 brain however totally get’s it. Beanie Babies were our children in 1999. And like a quality episode of Mauri, we were adding to our family by the day.

Birthday? Here’s a Beanie Baby

Hallmark Holiday? Have another.

You got 3 B’s and an A? Fuck it have another.

Before you knew it your entire bedroom had been overrun with Beanie Babies and if you were fortunate enough to have siblings you could probably count on getting a clone of theirs when they did something right because god forbid you had to share.

That’s what’s unfortunate for the two people in this picture, they’re emotionally invested and now have to pick their must haves. This is the part where I cannot understand how any parent suggests they don’t have a favorite. It took me half a second to put Bongo the Monkey at number 1 in my power rankings.