I get it is Hollywood and half of their checks probably went to preserving their youthful images but holy shit. If I didn’t know any better and flipped this on midway through I’d have no problem believing it was a rerun.

Thank goodness Mr. Belding also made a cameo to remind us that 22 years have passed since The Bayside Class of 93 graduated.

Ah finally the national nightmare known as Kate Upton has concluded. I’m sure she’ll spam her way onto a few photos, probably some kind of Oreo advertisement, but at least we won’t have to see that mug on the cover.

Gotta say I am a bit surprised that SI pulled the plug a year short of a trilogy. Thought for sure with her now actually having a connection to sports, RIP Justin Verlander, she would schmeez her way onto the cover. Hell, might as well take a negative and spin it into a positive…

(Source) Apple may be preparing a big update to its Maps application for iOS and OS X. San Francisco’s KPIX reported earlier today that a Dodge Caravan sporting an impressive array of cameras has been spotted roaming the area. The California DMV confirmed that the vehicle (seen in the photos above and below, via Claycord) was leased to Apple.

Its a problem we’ve all run into. You’re planning a trip to an unknown part of town and as good as the directions iPhone gives, sometimes you’d like to get an idea where you’re going. Well thanks to the fine folks at Apple, problem solved.

With perhaps their most ingenious idea to date, they are reinvesting money back into the company and leasing cars with cameras on top to take pictures of all the roads in town. They’ll pop these pictures into their flawless app and allow users the opportunity to zoom in one more level and see what exactly they’re embarking on.

Just another reason why Apple is the leader of its industry.

Sent from my iPhone

We’re almost 72 hours from the dumbest decision in sports and with that the NFL season and look at that we’re averaging 1 arrest a day.

Bronze Cowboys RB Jospeh Randle

Good news for Joey, while he made the blotter, he escapes with only a ticket thanks to new marijuana laws according to his agent.

https://twitter.com/ErikBurkhardt/status/563030172174397442

Silver Colts LB D’Qwell Jackson

Ah the classic pizza boy beatdown. Dude thought he could get away with illegally parking real quick to deliver a pizza? Not on D’Qwells watch but certainly doesnt help the NFL’s image.

Gold Packers DT Letroy Guion

Holy shit there it is, classic NFL player wasting some money on the things he loves most, drugs and guns. Almost gives Maurice Clarett a run for his money. 357 grams of pot, more than $190,000 in one of the bags, and of course a 9mm handgun.

Really would love to get into this guys brain and figure out whats going on. Pretty sure anyone who has ever driven with even a tiny bit of pot really locked up his driving game, convinced every pair of headlights in the rear view was a cop. This guy couldn’t even stay in his lane and got got busted. Classic Darwinism here. Be better Letroy, only the strong survive.

(Source) The news that a box of Thin Mints could cost $5 this year has some people up in arms. One Twitter user called the hike a “serious problem that needs to be addressed” and another wrote “first housing, now this?”

That’s it, fuck em. I’m going to war with the Girl Scouts.

I get guilted into a dozen boxes every time I go to the grocery store this time of the year and now they’re gonna squeeze more out of me? No way no how. I’m posting up right next to the bad guy and undercutting them by a dollar with Grasshoppers*.

With 50% price margins we’re going world wide by March.

*If you’re buying anything but thin mints you deserve to be had.

(KDKA) DUNCANSVILLE, Pa. (AP) – Police say a 10-year-old Pennsylvania boy wasn’t missing as his mother feared, but was simply found hiding under his down bed, apparently while playing hide-and-seek. Blair Township police tell The (Altoona) Mirror that the boy’s mother called for help Friday night when she couldn’t find the boy for an extended time.

Based on the headline, my first thought was this was a classic example of parents forgetting their responsible for their children, turning around and they’re gone. All the while the kid’s behind a mall kiosk with his panicked Dad’s balls in a mason jar. I personally was duped by my parents, and they were the ones who went and hid while I was enamored at some boardwalk bells and whistles. Brilliant move on their part, scared the shit out of me and forced me to develop a Jack Bauer instinct of always knowing where number 1 and 2 are at all times.

In this case, these schmuck parents lost their kid IN THEIR OWN HOUSE. I cant even imagine the thought process for these people to initiate a search and rescue team before at least casing the house. There’s a checklist of go to’s that clearly weren’t even considered.

Behind the curtains ✔

In a cabinet ✔

Behind a door ✔

Dryer ✔

Under the fucking bed….

What even more chilling is the search and rescue was called off after the kid’s sibling found him under the bed. The general rule of thumb for parents is if they wont be present, or plan on doing a terrible job, have a ton of kids and instill the wolf pack mentality.

Everyone is accountable for someone else, so when shit gets real you have someone to count on being responsible.

BEAST MODE! BEAST MODE! BEAST MODE! BEAST……

Unlike the death of the Nationwide kid, where they make you guess how he met Mr. Mayhem, it’s clear how this room met their maker.

Today’s the day degenerates around the globe have waited for. Today’s the day Vegas has also waited for to take all those aforementioned degenerate’s money. While many will just consider a straight up betting option, or participate in an office block pool, there’s a whole nother sick side to the Super Bowl called prop bets.

Heads or tails?

National anthem length?

Katy Perry cleavage?

Gatorade color?

Before we get into that its important to be certain what side of the actual game you’re on. Early on it seemed like there would be an easy money grab, when some books put a super early line on the game ahead of the AFC championship.

Best case scenario if you’re interested in the Pat’s you jumped on that. And believe me, a lot of people did. So much so that it was bet down to a pick’em after the Pat’s whooped up on the Colts.

Now the line’s sitting at Pats -1 or -2 depending where you get it. I personally am riding Mr. Aliquippa’s New England Patriots, so go ahead and lock that in.

Now that we have our base, we can start adding some free money picks.

Coin Toss- The obvious play here is tails never fails. But the weird thing about that is it has failed, in half the Superbowls. There have been 48 coin tosses to date, 24 heads, 24 tails. Now if you’re the kind of guy who looks at the past winners board in roulette and throws a stack on black after consecutive red’s you’ll be excited to know 6 of the last 7 coin tosses have landed heads up. That’s enough for me to rule TAILS (-105) on the toss.

National Anthem Length 2 years ago Alicia Keys set the record for longest National Anthem at 2 minutes 40 seconds. This year we’re treated to Elsa/Idina Menzel, who is coming off the same performance at this years MLB All Star Game.

http://youtu.be/1lEI_b6OMAc?t=8m30s

Definitely under two minutes at the All Star game and she slow played the first half. Not sure if she was timing up the fly over, but she barely got to 2 minutes in July, have to say the Super Bowl’s National Anthem will also go UNDER 2:01 (-130).

Who Will Score First? Lot’s of options here and the smart move is to pick 1 guy on each team. I think the logical play is a rushing TD from both sides so the first play is Beast Mode MARSHAWN LYNCH(11/2). My second play however is now the obvious choice. Seattle has ridden its “bend but don’t break” defense this far and I expect much the same tonight. They shut the Packers down numerous times at the goal line, but the Patriots have a go-to in this situation, and usually pull the trigger with little time to react. Break the huddle, run to the line, quick snap, QB sneak, 6 points. Taking TOM BRADY 25/1 to start it up for the Patriots.

Gatorade Color Pete Carroll famously received two bath’s last year, first orange then yellow and books honored both explaining why they’re the top two. Two years ago the idiots in Baltimore forgot all about that and the year before was water. Patriots have been known to go water in the past so I expect much the same when they’re done whooping up on the Seahawks. WATER 3/1

Will Bill Belichick Smile? Something I have sensed in the weeks leading up to the Super Bowl, be it deflate gate, game prep or tweets going out, Bill’s got this.

A lot of confidence there, tells ya to ride the Pats to the bank. YES (+130)

Final tally here, we have the Patriots winning 31-17 meaning take the PATRIOTS -2 and OVER 47.5 because its stupid to ever bet an under.

Seems like its taken forever, but unfortunately for Jerome Bettis he retired at the same time as Marsahll Faulk and Curtis Martin (PITT). The NFL’s 6th leader rusher is finally headed to Canton, and its well deserved. He’s 10th in career TD’s and he finally won that Super Bowl in his home city before riding off in the sunset a champion and retiring.

Statistically he was a shoe in. That Super Bowl definitely put him over the top and while many Steeler faithful give the assist to Ben and his shoestring tackle on Nick Harper, its another person I credit with helping the Steelers put the icing on The Bus’s resume.

Nick Harper spent the night in the hospital before that 2006 Divisional Round game, after being stabbed in the knee by his wife. So while Ben get’s the assist and perhaps a nod in that induction speech, just remember to tip your cap to Daniell Harper.

Congratulations to #36, he was a one of a kind ‘back.

Real talk, Jerome needs to chill with the dramatics on daytime ESPN. It’s a slippery slope when you become a TV personality, guys like Donovan McNabb confirm they are an idiot. Others like Randy Moss open your eyes and offer pretty good insight. Don’t be the NFL’s version of Mark May. This city can’t afford to have to bumbling idiots troll old rivals.

http://youtu.be/NJRdEPCOerU?t=2m10s