Previously on The Yuppie Yinzer: Back in July we we ripped the #1 HS kicker Quinn Nordin for his awful video where he jumped on a jet, played “I’m Coming Home” and committed to Penn State.
It’s that kind of lack of any self awareness that made him the perfect fit for James Franklin especially when you considered how the former National Champions treated their kicker:
6 months later and you have Jim Harbuagh sleeping over and maybe Quinn jumped the gun on that video.
It’s probably best for Quinn, Penn State’s offensive line has a very Swiss cheese quality to it and with his kicker body type he would have likely been maimed very early in his career.
Penn State’s hurting, Pitt’s PA takeover is in full swing, with Pat Narduzzi locking up the borders with 7 of the top 30 recruits in the state to Penn State’s 4. James Franklin’s days are numbered and the countdown is set to his bloodbath in Heinz Field September 10th.
WPXIAllegheny County sheriffs’ deputies arrested a Glenshaw man Monday morning after he allegedly offered to sell illegal pills in a Pittsburgh traffic courtroom seating area, police said. Christopher Durkin, 35, appeared in front of District Magistrate James Hanley to face a traffic charge of driving under suspension.
Respect the hustle here. I’ve watched enough Shark Tank over the years to know the most expensive part of running a business is the acquisition cost of a customer.
Chris put 2 and 2 together and knew he was gonna be in the same room as his target demographic: degenerate scumbags.
Chris saw the dollar signs but clearly missed Johnny Law in the corner. If you’re going to sell contraband you need to be able to stay under the radar and complete the transaction and for that reason, I’m out.
Post GazetteThe Pirates will change their 2016 uniform lineup — and fans might have gotten a sneak preview. A since-deleted tweet from a Twitter account that appears to be run by Pirates clubhouse manager Scott Bonnett included a picture of a long wall of hanging uniform tops. Included – white, black, grey, camouflage and yellow, which would represent a new top. The yellow jerseys had white and black arm bands, similar to those worn in the late 1970s.
Our eyeballs thank you Pirates. I love mustard on my hotdog, but absolutely despise it on my team on Sunday’s.
Should have known right out the gate. When Cutch can’t make them look cool on release night it was doomed from the start. It’s a shame too because the jersey is a decent enough look if they just stuck with yellow over that putred mustard.
All I know is that last time the Pirates won the World Series they were wearing the yellows.
Come on guys. Need this franchise to elevate to a championship level. Can’t be settling with Brewer retreads when there are Hall of Famers out there who want the job.
Electric electric electric, need I remind you of that spin move?
Braxton has already done his part to become a blip on the Steelers radar when he said he emulates Antonio Brown.
“AB, Antonio Brown, he’s the guy (I emulate),” Miller said. “He’s got athleticism and explosion. He can play inside and outside, so he brings both to the table.”
He’s since followed that up becoming the most talked about participant at the Senior Bowl not named Carson Wentz, and is racing up draft boards across the NFL. According to Eleven Warriors the Steelers join the Patriots and Chiefs in terms of interest and he makes perfect sense in the second round.
Obviously the play in the first round is suring up the defense even more but to get a difference maker like Braxton in the second would be a homerun.
Sure people may scoff at the idea of spending another draft pick on a wide receiver but when the quarterback has to convince your number two to grow up he might not be a number two. After the debacle this year at punt returner I’m sure we could all agree that while he was electric, having Antonio Brown return punts was terrifying.
Braxton did a little bit of everything his senior season at The Ohio State and while he’s made it known he can play both inside receiver and out, he can also be a presence in the running game. With leg injuries hampering LeVeon Bell the last two seasons, Braxton could serve as a security blanket for their running game that ultimately lead to the demise the last two years. This season ended when fellow Buckeye Bradley Roby knocked the ball out of the Michigan Man, Fitzgerald Toussaint’s hands.
And to think, just before that fumble I was prepared to name a breakfast sandwich after Fitzy Croissant.
Do the deal Pittsburgh.
While we’re on the topic of Buckeyes in the Burgh, lets go ahead and turn to Gus Johnson for the Steelers heir apparent to Ben’s throne.
Who better to learn from than the guy they compared him to on his way to the National Championship last season. Cam Newton is showing critics who say you can only succeed with some cerebral quarterback who yucks it up with reporters ala Peyton Manning and Andrew Luck. If you’re saying its this easy to essentially extend Big Ben’s career another 10 years with a guy they call 12 Gauge I’m on board every single time.
Kudo’s to the WTAE team again, they just know what button to push and where to push it. Last month they found gold out of Barbara Carpenter’s electric take on Santa strung up by a noose, and now they finally answer the question on everyone’s mind when there’s an impending snow storm.
I have to rip Bob here though, how do you have that kind of lead in and not grill her for the details here. She has to wipe her kid’s butts (plural). When Bob sat with the producers in the meeting room before hitting the road they knew exactly how this story would play out. Milk, eggs, TP, beer, salt, yada yada yada. When he hits the road and Marci McGuire drops this bomb that she needs the essentials to ensure she is stocked up to wipe her kids butts that’s his queue to dig deeper.
Marci already admitted she was a spaz, and expanded on that revealing she’s an insane couponer. The signs are already there that a microphone in her face can only produce elite viral content, keep digging man.
I can only hope they left the real story here on the cutting room floor and will whip that out during sweeps so Marci can get the auto tune she deserves.
“Tonight at 11, how old is too old to wipe your kids butt?”
The NFL is a weird cat (hashtag pun city). You can ride and die with your team week to week or you can throw your allegiance in the wind in favor of fantasy football or betting lines. When you get to this part of the season and you have that Superbowl run ripped out from beneath you it can be tough to give a lick the rest of the season.
Enter Ked Woodley saving fans of the 28 teams sitting at home this weekend with a firejam for the ages. Dat growl?
If anyone has VH1 on speed dial, can we please green light a behind the music on this hit?
The Penguins Student Rush often runs contests giving away tickets where a certain number texter will win tickets. In anticipation of the Flyers’ visit, the 1975th person gets the tickets…
1975 was the last time the stinkin Flyers won the Stanley Cup, when black and white pictures were all the rage.
Man it must suck to wake up and live in a place like Philadelphia or Cleveland. There are places in the country like Pittsburgh, Chicago, and Boston that have to put up with some suicidal weather but they can keep it together because their teams make playoff runs and even bring a parade to the city every few years. To have to wake up in Filthadelphia and know there is no hope in your lifetime of another championship has to be the worst.
Side note, does Philadelphia survive when the 49ers win a Superbowl?
“When the Penguins won the Stanley Cup… That was quite some time ago wasn’t it?”
Hey man why don’t you chill out with the “they haven’t been good in forever” inflection. How long has it been since your Toronto Maple Leafs hoisted a cup huh? You’re country invented the game yet hasn’t sniffed a cup since the Pens last one. I know your cockiness is kinda your schtick but why don’t you cool it.
This guy’s story is also compete hot garbage. That was right around the time Twitter was taking off and I’m sure his “tip” was just a tweet and his “pictures” were ones where you take a picture of yourself and try to highlight the background. Oldest trick in the book, I know this because I did the same thing on my 21st birthday when I saw Marian Hossa at Mario’s.
Post Gazette “Friday Night Tykes: Steel Country” debuts this spring and chronicles the Beaver County Youth Football League. A trailer Esquire Network released shows Central Valley Warriors and Aliquippa L’il Quips most prominently. Other Mitey Mite teams featured in the series include the Beaver Falls Tigers, Monaca L’il Indians, Blackhawk Cougars and Ambridge L’il Bridgers.
Mr. Hanna said while “Steel Country” will have some similar themes – “”there’s some questionable coaching, some questionable parenting all in the name of football glory” – the new series will include unique, regional differences.
“Western Pennsylvania, having the history it has with football and being a hotbed of NFL talent, we thought that could be an interesting backdrop,” he said. “What’s happening in that region of the country economically is a part of the story. How the economic downturn has impacted these communities and how football is the one thing some of these communities can hold onto for pride, for sense of community, you’ll see that is a big storyline in the show.”
The time is ripe to start raising kids in Pittsburgh. Between parent’s already being cautious and convincing their kids to play other sports as well as Antwaan Randle El putting out his own propaganda, by the time my kid can play football, the field is gonna be so slim we’ll be on the fast track to the Heisman.
Are the teams featured in this show in line with my socioeconomic status? Absolutely not. The key here is going to be tricking the system to get little junior into one of these programs they run like prison football. Create some character. Then when he hangs up his pee-wee cleats we bring him back home and cut him loose on the locals.
Every few years Pine Richland pumps out professional talent. From Neil Walker to Brandon Saad to Meghan Klingenberg there something in our water that breeds success. The latest star in the pipeline is Phil Jurkovec who is projected to be the number one QB coming out of high school in 2 years, might as well let Jr carry on that professional tradition.
Take my brains and brawn and throw it on those jail yard teams and parlay that into an elite public school? Where do I sign up?
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