“Kessel looks back finds Malkin, WHAT A MOVE! He shoots, he SCORRRRRES”

Ahh right there, that’s the kind of play by play we expected when we added Phil Kessel.  While the Penguins were 10-7 t start they were close to the bottom in scoring at 2.06 goals per game and things just didn’t look like this:

While it took Sidney 6 games to find the back of the net and he’s only found it once since, the fact that the Penguins are still 10-7 with a team that is so cold is reassuring.

Now with Geno adding highlight reel goals, we’re right on the cusp of figuring this thing out with a lot of hockey ahead of us.

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Twitter, ever hear of it? It’s the place on the internet that provides any/everyone the opportunity to share their brilliance.  In some cases it lets you reach out directly to higher profile athletes/celebrities who back in the day you’re best chance at interacting with relied on really good seats or great luck at a restaurant.

With Le’Veon Bell hung up for the season, it looks like he’s reaching out to some of his most loyal fans…

Nice little stiff arm there from Le’Veon to some scumbag troll.

Good news for the world, there’s still good guys out there.

PPGThe Steelers finally cut ties with Dri Archer and replaced him with old nemesis Jacoby Jones. Archer, their third-round pick in 2014 who could not find a niche with the Steelers other than as a mediocre kickoff returner, was waived after their successful waiver claim for Jones, whom San Diego released Tuesday. Jones returned five kickoffs and four punts for touchdowns in his nine-year career, and also caught 14 touchdowns as a receiver. He spent three years with Baltimore from 2012 through 2014, making All-Pro one time. He ran back one punt and one kickoff for touchdowns against the Steelers while with the Ravens

Brilliant move here yesterday by the Steelers. Outside of lighting the combine on fire with the fastest 40 time Dri Archer hasn’t done shit. When you’re having your speederster taking a knee only a few feet into the end zone you already know you’ve got nothing.

Naturally the Steelers target the guy it took a 12th man / head coach to get down. Go ahead and grab the Steelers DST of the waiver wire right away you’re getting a ton of value and at least one return this Sunday.

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https://instagram.com/p/9XLU9MwmV7/?taken-by=phil_kessel_81_

The Penguins threw their annual costume party and while some Pen’s really brought it (more on that later) Phil Kessel continued to pad his stats as the hero this city needs, cue a goal….

From his affinity of hot dogs to his hilarity in costume there’s no doubt he is a perfect fit.  If you close your eyes and imagine what a quintessential yinzer looks like you get Phil Kessel top to bottom.  The fact that he’s not only a hockey player but a damn good one is a major win for the city especially when you see the kind of smokes he pulls in.  Stay in school my ass kids.  Figure out a sport and dominate it, you’ll get money and babes and thus happiness.

As for the rest of the costumes, Kris Letang went hardest to the paint in full makeup.

Geno went cop

And while Kunitz went topical as Marty McFly Pascal Dupuis was just another minion.

In other related news, America’s Hero, TJ Oshie did in fact “win Halloween” with his costume….

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Oh boy was a #duzzi we have here. Big week for coach after he trolled those asshats in State College he takes his squad into upstate New York and with the help of a well timed fake punt Pitt knocks off Syracuse. 

Since I’m a man of honor I will admit when I was wrong. All summer I felt confident that Pitt would easily be the best program in the state. Granted, I was dead on about that clown show Penn a State, but at the time of press Temple has the crown. With College Gameday likely emulating from Philly next week it’s gonna take a few losses to jump the Owls who remain undefeated and have national attention.

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It’s not my style to brag, but just like I started the Jung Ho Kang hype train I told you all how awesome Pat Naruzzi was going to be.  The highlight of the offseason was his hiring and each and every week you all get to see what I knew would happen.  You can’t get through an episode of Gameday without some mention of Narduzzi, or lack thereof, contributing to Sparty’s less than impressive start.

Then today coming off another Penn State beat down in Columbus where their franchise quarterback laid another egg and was only allowed to throw 13 passes, Coach throws a perfect jab.

Pitt is becoming a complete program.  Coach has already called out the cowardly rivals and with the exception of a field goal as time expired in Iowa, Pitt is perfect on the season.  With Temple also starting off undefeated and announced as hosting a http://prime time game versus Notre Dame on Halloween Penn State is clearly the third best program in a state they once claim to have dominated in their days harboring a known pedophile.

Lets fast forward not til September 10th when Pitt can bludgeon Penn State and dump a few bodies in the Allegheny.

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Fuher Goodell is up to his old games yet again.  Let’s take a look at today’s headlines.

Exhibit 1A:

Oh come the fuck on Roger.  We are weeks away from the World Series where you can expect Fox will once again dedicate a few minutes to the ‘Stand Up 2 Cancer’ campaign and earn the MLB a lot of good PR.  Instead of borrowing this great idea you have this asshole telling the Steelers to Cam Heyward to “Sit Down & Shut Up for Cancer.’ Real bad move Rog, real bad.

Exhibit 2A: 

OH COME THE FUCK ON ROGER.  Three years ago Business Insider outted your bullshit you pull every October.  You know everytime little Timmy wants to look like his favorite player and you take him to Dicks for a pair of pink gloves? You probably think you’re doing a good thing pumping cash into a great cause to hopefully cure breast cancer.  Well forget about that purchase doing much because 90% of that profit is going right into the NFL’s pockets, NOT cancer research.

The NFL can use the defense that the pink accessories bring awareness to cancer but DeAngelo Williams gave you a great opportunity to raise awareness for all 17 weeks instead of 4 October Sunday’s.  Is it really the end of the world if a handful of players who were affected by cancer honor their friends and family with some extra flare on gameday?

Thankfully DeAngelo found his first loophole to honor his mother and raise awareness.

Exhibit 2B:

In a genius counter move, according to ESPN,

Williams said he is purchasing 53 mammograms tests — in honor of his mother’s age when she died — for a hospital in Charlotte, North Carolina, where he played nine NFL seasons for the Carolina Panthers, and in Pittsburgh.

Boom. well done.  Unless the NFL steals the NCAA’s schtick and tries to say he can’t donate to worthy causes those test will hopefully go to great use and spearhead a true movement towards a cure.

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And just like that the team with the second most wins in baseball is thrown out after barely enjoying a cup of coffee and losing to another dominant ace.

Right out of the gate the entire city was ready to make Clint Hurdle walk the plank when his brain went full noodle and he opted for a defensive lineup, benching the teams leader in home runs.

As a result we had Marte batting cleanup and the lineup in general falls off a cliff after cleanup.  If the Cubs could slip through the first with no damage being done they could count on the second and third inning being a breeze.  In the end Rodriguez wouldn’t even see a pitch and Pedro Alvarez would be subbed in too little too late.  You can’t put your home run hitter ahead of the pitcher and expect him to see anything.  In the end the only baller in that stadium wearing a Pirates jersey was sitting behind home plate.

The dagger came way early last night when Kyle Schwarber’s fat face launched one into the drink in the third to make it 3-0.

The Pirate’s last ditch effort after another potential rally ended via double play was to just get dirty and remove Arrieta themselves (kinda like when the Cubs took out Jung Ho Kang).

Naturally the benches cleared but I’ll be honest I didn’t expect much of a skirmish but Sean Rod came looking for a fight.

It didn’t end there, the “starter” who got yanked out before he could log a single at bat returned back to the dugout and took his aggression out on the water cooler & winning the internet.

https://twitter.com/piratescooler/status/651947412387459073

https://twitter.com/piratescooler/status/651950867042713604

https://twitter.com/piratescooler/status/651953814128488448

The fan’s earned some hype going into last nights came too but unfortunately that all blew up in their face before they could get anything started.  After becoming the laughing stock of the baseball world with their predetermined chants it was not the best look to hear NONE OF THEM.

Instead viewers turned off the TV talking about the other fans.  We’ve already mentioned the boy behind home plate who had the most heart in the stadium but how about your boy here trailblazing the return of the mullet.

Grind daily, grind often my friend.

This poor guy here meanwhile got all dressed up for no payoff. Now he has to rock that gear all the way back to his car and drive home like that.  Hey man I wouldn’t fault you if you dropped it off in a dumpster on the way to the parking lot.

Lastly, sad endings for Aramis Ramirez and AJ Burnett who both played their final game.  Makes no sense Clint Hurdle didn’t bottle up that emotion and get Aramis into the lineup. That guy was all heart and would have been a nice piece in the lineup looking to go out on top.

Not much mention of AJ either last night.  In only a few short years he captivated the city and you’d think he played his who career here winning several World Series.  Fortunately he was able to ride off in the sunset…

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Love it.

In a time where we’ll likely be honoring Yogi Berra the Pirates ace is coming out throwing fireballs and dominating the mental game. 

  

Cubs are all but dead. Zip em up. 

 

 
Hey banner year for Jake here. After likely winning the NL Cy Young he’s all but locked up the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at next years ESPY’s. 

 

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