NY Daily News They really scrooged over a bunch of poor kids. A trio of Postal Service renegades stole gifts from Secret Santas intended for underprivileged children, federal prosecutors charged Wednesday. The scam ran through the Postal Service’s Operation Santa program, in which personal information on real wish lists bound for the North Pole is redacted and the desired items are entered into a database. Good Samaritans can then peruse the letters and fulfill a child’s wishes. But three bad elves were only interested in stuffing their own stockings with electronics, clothes and even a toy train, prosecutors said.

Naturally the first reaction is outrage. It’s pure lunacy that these assholes tried to, in essence, steal from under privileged children.

Now call me crazy, but when my mind thinks of under privileged kids I’m thinking of Oliver Twist trying to find his next meal.

These “under privledge kids are coming out of Operation Santa with more gadgets than the privileged kids… iPad? Laptops? Seriously? I was expecting these clowns were stealing blankets and earmuffs, not a pair of Beats by Dre.

Imagine being the kid who just gets the printer and no laptop. You finally get your letter pulled and your expensive present doesn’t do you a damn bit of good.

It still takes a special brand of scumbag to steal from kids but maybe we should reevaluate the kids that are “underprivledged” and take care of the starving one who freeze to sleep on Christmas.

ESPN.com In an effort to try to reduce the number of games decided by a shootout, the NHL’s general managers opted Tuesday to move next season to a five-minute overtime session with three skaters a side from four.

The plan will need the approval of the NHL’s Board of Governors, which will meet Wednesday in Las Vegas in advance of the NHL’s annual awards ceremony, but that approval is considered a formality.

Gimmick inception!! The original 4-on-4 gimmick has been surpassed by gimmick 2.0: 3-on-3 hockey!!

When the NHL returned from its locked out season in 04-05 they tweaked overtime into a 4-on-4 period for 5 minutes followed by a shootout. The thought was shootouts were exciting and people would tune in to them.

Fast forward a decade and now the powers that be want fewer shootouts, go figure.

The good news about this rule is the Pens could send out and overtime unit that’s two thirds Crosby/Malkin. The bad news is every puck head around here thinks trading Malkin will fix this team so he may not even be a Penguin to appreciate next season.

This is also sad news if the rumored TJ Oshie to Pittsburgh deal comes to fruition. The American hockey hero made his name against Russia in a shootout and it would be disappointing to limit his shootout opportunities next year.

CNN It happened in a matter of days. In South Carolina, the governor called for the Confederate flag to stop flying over the capitol. The governors of Virginia and North Carolina quickly declared that they would remove the flag from state license plates. Meanwhile, several of the country’s top retailers — from Walmart to eBay and Amazon — announced in quick succession that they would stop selling Confederate flag merchandise.

It has always struck me as odd that so much love is still out there for the confederate flag. The south lost the war but residents down there still love hanging that reminder up. If the civil war happened again and the north won (which they would) no way you’d still see confederate flags, they’d be shipped to third world countries with those boxes of “Cleveland Caviler Championship T-shirts.”

In addition to being a reminder of fighting a losing battle, those flags are also a reminder for a terrible time in US history. Nazi propaganda isn’t flying off the shelves at Walmart and you can’t buy Swastika patches from a cart on the side of the road, so shouldn’t the confederate flag receive the same treatment?

Speaking of the south getting destroyed by the north, how about this graph from PornHub.com looking at the sites usage in Alabama during this years Sugar Bowl.

What could have brought such a rapid spike??

Ian Hoppe at AL.com broke down the numbers:

According to usage statistics provided to AL.com from PornHub, one of the top providers of online pornography in the world, there was a 90% surge in traffic immediately following the game’s bitter ending.

[…]

There were several stand-out bits of information regarding Alabamians’ most private search habits on PornHub. But on January 1 of this year, just as the Buckeyes clinched the Sugar Bowl title – securing their spot in the National Championship – Alabama found condolence deep in the heart of the internet, where preferences are free and judgment is at a bare minimum.

To be clear, the baseline for the comparison is an average day in Alabama. Immediately following the game, traffic from the state of Alabama exceeded average use by around 90%.

Going a step further, and bringing this whole thing together, what are the fine folks in Mobile searching?

So that means they really aren’t racist right?

It should be mentioned that this is likely so they can throw out slurs but validate their use because “it’s ok I watch black porn.”

CNBC Samsung has a lofty idea to make highways safer for truck drivers and regular motorists—giant flat-screen TV panels. Samsung’s “safety truck” has a wireless camera installed on the grill that displays what’s in front of the vehicle on a flatscreen TV attached to the back of the truck. That allows tailgaters and cautious drivers alike to see what’s in front of trucks. Samsung announced the prototype truck last week. Samsung said in a statement that the prototype truck is no longer operational but that the “idea can definitely save the lives of many people.” The Korean tech giant said the prototype trucks need more testing before appearing on roads.

I applaud the innovation by lets agree this ends one of two ways.

Either Samsung can only take this so far and ultimately Apple sweeps in, pimps it out, and gets it into production right away or Samsung releases a glorified beta and we’re hearing stories about the monitors getting “hacked” and playing pornography on the highway “by mistake.”

That kind of cynicism is a product of the world we live in. These days companies like Sony are getting hacked and celebrities are using “getting hacked” as a get out of jail free card to undo an offensive tweet.

All I’m saying is don’t act surprised when these cars that can park themselves take over and launch cars off the road.

Oh wow Joe Manganiello just pulled the biggest power move in the Yinzer Castle de-throning Michael Keaton as King of the Yinzers. Only a few short months ago Keaton was on top of the world with the buzz around his new movie. Then he was robbed at the Oscars and while he has remained relevant recently receiving autographs from Pittsburgh’s other Batman Keaton’s slowing momentum has allowed Mr. Manganiello to claim the Steel Throne. 

In a matter of weeks he’ll have all the Yinzer broads dripping from his performance in Magic Mike XL and guys have already been impressed since he ringed up Sophia Vergara. 

If the Steel City can have this guy out there charming the pants off America and building up our brand instead of that hack “Pittsburgh Dad” we’re a step closer to world domination. 

In related news, Pittsburgh natives are now practically Dothraki. I could live with that.

Well that was epic. The Super Mario world has so much depth and so many characters in it’s 30 years it could become an epic TV of the likes of Game of Thrones. You could string millions of people along for a dozen seasons teasing the ultimate matchup of Mario vs Bowser.

Much like the real show you could split the episodes up into separate stories following the core Mario/Luigi storyline, the Bowser/Koopa storyline, check in on the princess and even dive into the origins of Yoshi, DK, and Wario.

They could weave in and out as needed and imgaine that kind of hype it would get when the producers get ballsy and chop Luigi’s head off in the first season finale or slit the Princesses throat (which would obviously be acted much better than Lady Stark BTW).

Instead Hollywood threw this hunk of green screen junk at us in the mid 90’s and seemingly tainted the water for good.

The best part of Jimmy Kimmel’s show is the challenges he puts out there for his viewers. Parents eating Halloween Candy, April Fools Pranks, and most recently Father’s Day pranks. This year the challenge was to serve dad breakfast in the shower and the end result was way too much full frontal for America’s youth.

These families did not give a single fuck, if they had a chance to get on Jimmy Kimmel they could not care less if dad’s junk was in their face. Even if I was the most devout Jimmy Kimmel sheep I wouldn’t go close to my dad in the shower.

The biggest roar from the audience usually follows a schizo tantrum from the father covered in oatmeal and/or eggs etc but I feel for that guy. I myself get borderline schizophrenic when someone knocks on the door when I’m on the toilet. The bathroom should be a fortress of solitude where I can go in private for deep thinking and not have to worry about being bothered, let along covered in disgusting food.

P.S. People still don’t know how to record video’s on their phone correctly either huh?

Max Scherzer almost made history today handing the Pirates their first perfect game in club history. 

Luckily Jose was on hand to pinch hit in the ninth and took one for the team ending the perfect game.  Jay-Hay went on to fly out and the Nationals pretended they were happy with the consolation no hitter 

  
All day Friday, the experts on ESPN and MLB Network were ready to anoint the buccos as the best team in baseball. That came after a 9 game winning streak vs shit teams and they are now riding that momentum in Washington, a potential playoff team, and getting stomped on Friday and no hit today. 

Previously on Smut Wars:
Smut Wars: Kim vs Kendall
Smut Wars II: Britney vs Christina
Smut Wars III: Ronda Rousey vs Cat Zingano
Smut Wars IV: Daenerys Targaryen vs Daenerys Targaryen’s Body Double 
Smut Wars V: Britney Spears vs Hilary Duff

EW The body double who performed Game of Thrones’ Walk of Shame nude for three days is breaking her silence on enacting the stunning sequence.

Actress Rebecca Van Cleave (photo below) worked closely with star Lena Headey on the gripping penance walk in Sunday’s season 5 finale. While filming the Walk in Dubrovnik last October, Van Cleave performed nude while Headey wore a simple beige shift. The show’s visual effects team then merged the performances together—combining Headey’s progression of facial emotions during Cersei’s punishing hike to the Red Keep and Van Cleave’s physical movement echoing Headey’s body language in order to create the seamless illusion that Headey was completely bare for the sequence.

Game of Thrones is back in the Smut Wars ring. Daenreys vs her body double took off and continues to get hits so why not follow that up with a look at the their most recent body doubling from this past Sunday nights season finale of Game of Thrones. While Daenrey’s body double came as a bit of a surprise it was obvious Cersei was swapped out Sunday.

In the red corner we have everyone’s favorite bad girl queen, the original Cersei Lannister. For years she’s been atop the Seven Kingdoms manipulating those around her for her own benefit and things are finally catching up with her. Lets go to her tale of the tape.

And in the blue corner we have the body double Rebecca Van Cleave. Yes it was obvious the face was different but I do not think anyone had a problem with dat ass. Lets go ahead and take a look at her tape.

The scouting report is not as deep for Rebecca and while her headshots are cute enough to get her in the door to GoT casting I think the classic beauty from the real Cersei trumps the body double here. Van Cleave was just there for the Cleve-age and did a swell job, but there’s always Cersei’s little 300 appearance that shows she likes to fuck.

And for that reason Game of Thrones body doubles go to 1 and 1 as the original Cersei Lannister is crowned the winner of Smut Wars VI.

BONUS SMUT

On the Game of Thrones Reddit Page someone posted this email casting put out looking for a guy to whip his dick out for the camera (click to enlarge).

I can’t even imagine receiving this email let alone jumping on a plane to another country so I can show the world my dick. Obviously I have my price but is $1,500 that price? Maybe, but only if that comes with the contingency that I would go on to become the next Chris Pratt and dominate Hollywood.

Just because this Yinzer is confined to his scooter and doesn’t have a drivers license doesn’t mean he can’t make it to the casino buffet. He’s been down to Myrtle and seen everyone zip around town in their golf carts and knows hes got at least half a horse more under the seat of his scooter than those golf carts so why the fuck not.

I would be a hypocrite if I did not tip my glass to this guys driver’s etiquette. There is nothing worse than getting on the turnpike and having to come off cruise control in the left lane because some jabroni feels like Sunday driving. I will flip you off, curse you out, and make exagerated gestures to herd you back to your lane if you are dumb enough to be driving in the left lane and not passing.

That being said, this guy is in the middle lane and while he allows the opportunity to pass on his left, it is still a super ballsy move to be chillin in the center lane waiting for someone to ram up his ass.