Last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Uncle Jesse officially announced the return of Full House. I have to imagine this really grinds Jimmy Fallon’s gears since twice he tried to kick start a Full House Reunion.

Back in Janaury the cast got together spawning rumors of a potential return. My first thought was there was way too much Kimmy Gibbler since she was always pegged as the annoying neighbor and with the absence of either Olson twin it looked like they were trying to bait and switch us Michelle for Kimmy. Based on what Uncle Jesse, and yes he will only ever be Uncle Jesse, said on Kimmel it appears the new iteration will carry the core of parent (DJ), sister (Stephanie) and friend (Kimmy) to raise her 3 kids.

Uncle Jesse says he hopes to have an Olson on board for the initial reunion, but I personally feel slighted she wont be one of the three adults on the show. Uncle Jesse was a total bad ass before he moved in. He was in a band, recklessly rode his motorcycle, and lets face it, was a straight pussy magnet. Swapping that dynamic out for Miss Vanilla Aunt Stephanie won’t come close to the potential having Bad Ass Aunt Michelle would have, but maybe some cameos can save face.

My two hopes are they do not castrate the spinoff the way Disney did with Girl Meets World. I can still pop on ABC Family and get down with Boy Meets World but this new show is lame-city and basically a crappy Disney show that happens to have Corey and Topanga on the payroll. My second hope is they cast the shit out of the youngest son. He legitimately has to be the cutest kid in Hollywood. Go back up and look at those gifs of Michelle, she pretty much made the show and it’s no coincidence Full House ended when she entered that awkward puberty phase. Get it right Uncle Jesse.

First Raw I popped on since the post mania show and it was well worth it. 

Another PPV coming up this weekend. The main event Randy Orton vs Seth Rollins will ban both guys finishers so it already is set up to underwhelm. 

Couldn’t have seen that coming, hope shes doing ok.

Update

SI.com Pittsburgh Steelers All-Pro wide receiver Antonio Brown plans on skipping the team’s offseason workouts as he seeks a new contract, reports Fox Sports’ Mike Garafolo. Pittsburgh’s offseason program starts Monday. According to the report, Brown is also thinking about not attending the team’s three-day mandatory minicamp, which starts June 16 and training camp which begins at the end of July. Brown signed a five-year, $42.5 million extension with Pittsburgh in 2012 and then restructured his contract last season, creating $4 million in cap space for the team. He is not scheduled to become an unrestricted free agent until after the 2017 season. He made $5.285 million last season and is scheduled to make $6 million in base salary for the 2015 season. Brown, 26, led the NFL with 129 catches for 1,698 yards last season and also scored 13 touchdowns, earning first-team AP All-Pro honors. He also had 319 punt return yards with one touchdown.

He was one of the best wide receivers in the game in 2014. Since the Steelers early round exit from the playoffs he has worked out with The Rock, and was a captain at this years Pro Bowl. It would only make sense that he takes the time to hold out of his current contract until he gets paid.

It makes sense from his point of view.  With only $3.4 million of his remaining $20+ million contract this play is likely to move some of that contract pay to guaranteed pay and protect himself in the event of an injury.  It ain’t my money and he’s been one hell of a fantasy football investment so why not, give the man his bags of money.

The truth is, when you’re throwing weights around with The Rock do you really need to be working out with your teammates? Probably not.  If we make it to September and still do not see #84 on the field then we’ll bitch and moan.  But today, we ain’t talkin about a game… we talkin about PRACTICE.

Great news, the Penguins went up to NYC and found the best player on earth they’ve been waiting on.

And then he did it again!

Almost feel like the Cleveland Caveliers here. Savor and face of the franchise vanishes only to return in 2015 and take his team back to the championship… 

Game three Monday back at Consol. 

Also can we not do the #PensIn__ shit this time? Every year it picks back up and all I think of is Pen 15 and then I have dicks on my brain and no longer care for hockey. Let’s stay away from that this season. 

#PensIn5

Interesting concept here.  I know a family or two that reside in Pittsburgh and are legitimately funny and could be the Kardashian’s of the east but I doubt that is what these casting people are looking for.

No instead we’ll get some try hard dopes who memorize Pittsburgh Dad videos ahead of their close-up’s and their transparency will be obvious in episode one.

If you’re just looking for some clowns in wife beaters and jorts who talk funny and trash the Heinz Field parking lots every summer for a country music concert than good luck to ya, but if you’re in it for the long game and looking for the next big reality hit, you let me know.

NoiseyThis far-reaching trend lives mostly on the #sausagemovement hashtag, and sausage addicts across the whole of America have been spitting bars about their beloved pork cylinders, filming the evidence and posting it online at a pretty impressive rate. There is much dispute within the #sausagemovement as to how it all started, but all roads lead back to two origin videos.

Kids do the darndest things…

Upon seeing this video, it was at this moment I HAD to know what the hell was going on here.  A wiki-google-tube later and the story was clear.  It all started with a harmless rap at some high school lunch about everyone’s new favorite breakfast meat.

Naturally a relatively harmless fun time at lunch completely devolves thanks to the internet and before you know it we have some freak beast gym rat in non matching socks (pictured right) hanging with his sister’s friends blowing up all kinds of protected groups.  With one little part in an innocuous YouTube video he personifies that dream Martin Luther King Jr longed for in his famous speech.  Go ahead have a look for yourself

For some time, bacon was king in households across America.  The classic breakfast food branched out and was broken into bits for salads, added in pieces to sandwiches and burgers and fun was had by all.  Guacamole tried to supplant bacon as king and more recently sriracha is getting its grubbey paws all up in everyone’s shit.

These days however sausage is making big movies.  Now with its own hashtag persona as well as local greats such as Emilanos Diablo Taco and Peppis Sandwich of the City Roethlisburger using sausage in their masterpieces, its only a matter of time until every restaurant in the world cant wait to tell you about their new sausage infused dish.

See you at the sausage party.

They announced Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne and set the internet on fire. The pushed back the release a full year and set the internet on fire. I expect the same today when this video makes it around the inter office email when everyone is looking for a way to not work this Friday.

I thought the first Superman movie was hot garbage. Literally destroyed Metropolis and people are clapping it up for the alien in a cape. Obviously pitting Batman against him peeks my interest and we’ll check er out, but with the Christopher Nolan series still fresh in my mind, Zach Snyder has his work cut out for him.

Suicide Squad on the other hand? Now that is something I could dig my teeth into.

UPDATE: Warner Brothers is throwing ice on our DC boners, I guess they don’t want the millions of readers ‘The Yuppie Yinzer’ reaches out to knowing about their blockbuster.

USA Today Low-wage workers — and their sympathizers — had their say coast to coast on Wednesday. Thousands of workers and protesters from New York City to Los Angeles walked, marched and shouted their demands in front of fast-food locations and on several major college campuses for $15-an-hour wages. No arrests were reported. At least one McDonald’s in New York City was temporarily closed by protesters. Several McDonald’s stores kept drive-throughs operating, even while the restaurants were temporarily locked. “We are the backbones of these fast-food restaurants, and I believe that we should be more rewarded,” said Jorge Math, a McDonald’s cashier who makes $8.75. “Most of us have to get a second job so we can sustain ourselves.” Keeshan Harley came as a member of Make the Road New York, a nonprofit that focuses on justice issues. “In New York City, it’s kind of impossible to work on $8 an hour when you have $1,900 to $2,000 rents,” Harley said. “So we need $15 an hour. That’s the bare minimum. That is just moving toward sustainability in the city.”

It’s starting to happen people. The “everyone gets a trophy” generation is getting older and starting to rise up. Every week I watch Shark Tank they always have someone on who has busted their ass to get their product off the ground and claim its all “The American Dream.” Bad news buddy, that’s an illusion that died years ago. The American Dream in this day and age is throwing the meanest, most bad ass tantrum as possible and not letting up until you get your way.

The protesters are claiming “Social Justice.” Billy Madison made better arguments for the the Industrial Revolution than these assclowns will ever make for Social Justice. These days “society” have thrown all logic out of the window of the $2,000 a month apartments and are cannot understand why burger flippers are being paid like burger flippers.

There is not a single argument that anyone can make to convince me that they deserve $15 an hour. Assuming 40 hour work weeks, the standard for most hard working Americans, that’s $31,2000 a year. If they took a college class on economics they would know that if McDonald’s people are getting $30k a year that same apartment inflates to $4,000 a month.

Back in my day the running joke all through school was you needed to study and get good grades so you could go to college. If you thought you were above that you were laughed at because you would end up wearing a headset on drive-thru for a living. Fast forward and those suckers are flipping their burgers into their thirty’s and want the same life as little Johnny, that “loser” who studied and got A’s.

I will give these idiots some credit. They’re bitching because they can’t hack it at $8.75 an hour. To go out and strike for a raise of almost double is super aggressive and probably as American as it can get. They must watch Pawn Stars marathons on their days off and learned the art of a high asking price to get your median desired price. Hopefully McDonalds execs also caught an episode where Rick laughs off the idiots who come in looking for big bucks with some piece of shit no one wants.

Lets just fire all these people are replace them with the next wave of poor people who want to go from $0 an hour to $8.75 an hour. The Dollar Menu is an American Institution and can’t be replaced by the “20 Dollar Menu” so some meth head can make 15 bucks an hour asking if I want fries with that.  Somebody tell me why the burger flippers think they are entitled to make that kind of money?

We need Frank Underwood to be a real person.