Lets start with the bad… The Penguins lost to the Flyers… again (here’s the box score from their last win… in 2013). The Flyers fans also noticed the nice little losing streak the Penguins have going on right now and sent them off with a well deserved “you can’t beat us” chant.

Putting the ever optimistic spin on this is easy. The Penguins head to Ottawa for a match up with the Senators that will likely have a playoff vibe given both teams need a win for the final playoff spot in the east. Hockey is more or less a chore to watch prior to April and as we head into Spring it’s difficult to imagine the Penguins not being in the playoffs but if we’re being honest I’ll be OK if the season ends thus greatly improving my parking situation.

And of course there is always this…

And this…

Sporting News Kentucky coach John Calipari has been selected as college basketball’s Coach of the Year by The Associated Press. Calipari’s Wildcats are in the Final Four for the second straight year, attempting to put the finishing touches on the first undefeated season in 39 years. They’ve been ranked No. 1 all year and have been a unanimous choice in 12 of the 17 weeks in the regular season. Kentucky broke the NCAA record for wins in a reason with their 38th victory last weekend. Caipari earned 40 votes from the 65-member national media panel. Tony Bennett of Virginia received nine votes, while Notre Dame’s Mike Brey received five.

CBS Sports (12.24.15) Gary Patterson’s trophy case is filling up rather quickly this season. It was announced on Wednesday that the TCU coach had been named the Associated Press Coach of the Year after leading TCU to an 11-1 record this season, a year after the Horned Frogs went 4-8. It’s just the latest Coach of the Year award Patterson has received this season, as he won both of the Big 12’s awards (from both the coaches and media) as well as the Walter Camp and Eddie Robinson versions. Patterson received 27 of the 54 votes in the AP award, beating out Ohio State’s Urban Meyer, Mississippi State’s Dan Mullen, Alabama’s Nick Saban and Arizona’s Rich Rodriguez. Florida State’s Jimbo Fisher, Baylor’s Art Briles and Memphis’ Justin Fuente each received a vote as well.

I want to first personally thank the Associated Press for ripping the scab off a three month old wound that was all but healed. Back in December they awarded Gary Patterson Coach of the Year. Granted, Urban at that time had not pulled off one of the greatest coaching runs ever, but he still rallied a team to go 12-1 and win a true Big 10 Championship. All this after they lost the two time player of the year and star QB only days before the season started. When they voted, Gary was going to a meaningless bowl game and Urban was headed to New Orleans to compete in the inaugural College Football Playoff. The AP wasn’t interested in the low hanging fruit and easy, logical choice then. 

Fast forward three months and them sons of bitches go and award John Calapari Coach of the Year. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a hell of an achievement to coach a team to 38-0 but come on. He has what, 9 McDonalds All Americans? I understand recruiting is part of the job and factored into the award but if that be the case he stopped coaching in November. When Kentucky was shocking the country vs Kansas and employing hockey like line changes, everyone knew The Wildcats were head for a championship. Calipari just had to trot out whatever group of five star players he wanted. Meanwhile other coaches were drawing up game plans around their three, maybe four star guys if they were lucky and Calipari passed on them. 

All I’m saying is if they felt comfortable enough to vote Calipari the Coach of the Year they should use the same logic and give Urban his title. It’s the same BS these same writers likely bitched about when umpires were giving calling strikes for the Braves pitchers in the 90’s while ruling the same pitch a ball for other pitchers. Sure part of the problem is when the vote takes place. Truly makes no sense they vote on the coach of the year ahead of their most difficult games of the year. Apparently these writers see enough by way of out weak out of conference match ups and cookie cutter games in an otherwise weak conference. 

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WPXI Pittsburgh could be one of the next cities to have its streets covered with a 1,000 foot long slip-and-slide. “Slide The City” has Pittsburgh listed on its website as one of the stops for summer 2015, and could be coming to town on June 6. No location for where the slip-and-slide will be has been listed on the website yet, and tickets have not gone on sale. However, interested participants can sign up for the e-mail list on the website so they can be among the first to know when registration does open. Individual prices are listed at $15 for early registration, $20 for regular registration and $25 for day-of registration. There is also an option to upgrade to be able to go down the slide three times at any point during the day, or become a VIP slider and get unlimited turns as well as an extra hour before and after regular hours. June 6 is also the same day as the Taylor Swift concert at Heinz Field.

Initially I was on the fence about this bad boy. But upon further review and next level analysis of their official Youtube video I’m sold on it simply because it looks like they’re going the extra step and adding some pads. 

If your parents ever tried to bait and switch your desires of a pool with a slip and slide you know the injury risks. Bloody knees and elbows, bruised arms and legs. The thing was basically a death trap. Good thing about these pads is they not only soften the blows but likely means there won’t be any rocks poking the shit out of you.

What’s especially interesting is the participants the slide will bring in Pittsburgh. Their promotional videos suggests you’ll get the fratty crowds and cute girls but I know Pittsburgh. I’ve been to Sandcastle and think you can count on the Yinzer carry over. Your wishes of cute blondes having wardrobe malfunctions will come to a screeching halt when some hefty middle aged woman’s dinner plate nipple has the same effect as staring into an eclipse.

UPDATE As It Turns Out, a 1,000 Foot Slip & Slide In Pittsburgh Was an Awful Idea

Yes. I can’t believe this is the guy who got suspended for four games for PED’s last year.

Also can’t believe of he finds a team he cant play in that teams first 10 games again for these “alleged” PED’s.

The dude is obviously clean. When is the NFL gonna get their testing in working order?

PPG A federal jury in Pittsburgh has to decide if the idea for Dip & Squeeze ketchup packets was imported from Europe or delivered to H.J. Heinz Co. by a Michigan man. For David Wawrzynski to win his case, the Detroit-area entrepreneur needs to convince the jury that he helped the Pittsburgh food company solve the nagging problem of how to create a cleaner, more convenient single-serve package for fast-food restaurants that would also have a side effect of selling more ketchup. For Heinz to prevail, the company needs to convince jurors that its European division had created a similar packet as far back as 2002 but efforts to bring the concept to the U.S. market had been bogged down in issues of cost, only to be revived during an innovation push in 2008.

If you grew up on Happy Meals, and knew how to get the most out of your Chicken McNuggets via Sweet ‘n Sour sauce, chances are you also “invented” the new ketchup packet as a young child.

You did not have to be a baby genius to realize the efficiency of dipping your nuggets into a cup of sauce nor notice the absence of said cup when it came to ketchup. Hundreds of french fries went down dry if you were on a road trip because who had the time to empty no less than a dozen of those little poor person packets. Any logical kid wanted a ketchup cup but the problem was there was no such thing.

This deep rooted issue sat and festered until you learned how inventors could make millions making slight improvements to everyday products, thus improving ones quality of life. Any time you were in groups there was always someone who would point out the travesty that there was no ketchup dipping cup and claimed they would be that lucky one to cash in on their billion dollar idea.

Then in 2011 those hardos down the streets come out with the damn thing themselves and proceed to throw gas on your fire inside when they said it took three years to design. Get the fuck out of my face Heinz. All you had to do was copy the little sauce container that literally every fast food join out there uses. Three years? Really?

I’m glad someone had the time and resources to waste on fighting Heinz here. His biggest battle will be selling the jury because you can bet everyone of them had this same idea and will be bitter they are not the one fighting Big Business.

Broad Street Hockey The Philadelphia Flyers and Pittsburgh Penguins each entered the National Hockey League as expansion clubs in 1967, members of the so-called “Expansion Six” that also included the Los Angeles Kings, St. Louis Blues, Minnesota North Stars and California Golden Seals. As you may have noticed, 1967 plus 50 is 2017, and that’s just two short years away now. The Flyers and Penguins will play their 50th anniversary seasons in 2017-18 … so, what a perfect time for an outdoor game! The topic came up at Thursday’s Flyers Town Hall meeting, attended by season ticket holders.

God I hate Penn State. Always a wet fucking blanket. They love to tell you how they’re the third largest city on game days yet don’t want to host what could be an awesome game.  Don’t even give me that hot garbage about damaging the field because it’s practically a science at this point.  

Side note, hockey games in baseball stadiums is absolutely moronic. You get some cool pictures before the game and then the puck drops and its three periods of weird TV angles and I’m sure sitting there live is torture. I can not imagine spending a fortune on “good” seats only to find out you can’t see over the boards that are a mile away. 

One day Penn State will come around and welcome The Winter Classic with open arms. At this point the best case is they follow the lead of their Big 10 breathern up north and go to the Winter Classic when their football team is a disaster and there’s no better product to fill the seats. 

Last July if you worked downtown you likely got a little bit giddy when the old Sachs Fifth Avenue building was transformed into Madison Square Garden.

Even though Rachel McAdams gets gunned down in the Omni William Penn Hotel pretty early in the film, it still looks awesome.

Director of Training Day? Yes I’m in. AND it’s written by Kurt Sutter from Sons of Anarchy? Definitely. (As long as its not as boring and a chore to watch like the final season of SoA was). Jake Gyllenhaal (credit Google for that spelling) acted his ass off in this one. I have a strong feeling he posted up in a nice little gym for quite sometime.

Alright Hollywood you’re one for one with movies filmed downtown while I was on the clock. Can’t wait to see what you have in store for your concussion movie where you turned the lobby of my office building into NFL headquarters #HumbleBrag

Welp, all this hype was exciting this spring. We didn’t even make it to opening day and the season’s been mushed already. I wonder if Buster Olney will give us an update?

Crossing my fingers that we get a fresh MVP bobblehead next year with his new do.

CNBC Kraft Foods Group stock surged Wednesday after the company announced a merger deal with H.J. Heinz financed in part by Warren Buffett. Buffett told CNBC that his Berkshire Hathaway company will have $9.5 billion worth of common stock in the newly merged H.J. Heinz-Kraft Foods company. It will be headed by Heinz Chief Executive Bernardo Hees. Shares of Kraft Foods were were trading 32 percent higher at $81 on Wednesday after opening at a new all-time high going back to Kraft’s spinoff from its snack food business—now Mondelez International—in October 2012. (Get the latest quote here.) Earlier, the companies said Kraft shareholders will receive stock in the combined company and a special cash dividend of $16.50 per share, financed by a $10 billion investment from private equity firm 3G Capital and Berkshire Hathaway. Under the terms of the deal, Heinz will return to the public market with a 51 percent ownership of Kraft. Current holders of Kraft stock will own 49 percent of the company.

There you have it, Heinz drops some chump change on Kraft and now owns all its glorious brands. Sure there’s Chip’s Ahoy, Oreo, Mac & Cheese, Velveeta, Sweedish Fish, Sour Patch Kids, Planters, Wheat Thins, Ritz, Nila, Jello, and Oscar Meyer, but the real win is getting Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

Pittsburgh has been waiting in the weeds for decades, ready to pounce and dethrone Philadelphia for the most powerful city in PA. A day after a map showing the most popular throwback jersey in each state comes out and its some how Randall Cunningham in PA, the powers that be sent the deep pocket at Heinz to take care of business.

Holy shit. What more can be said. Brock shocks us again. He showed up on Sportscenter and I thought this was the usual Mania promo and Lesnar goes and drops the bombshell that he is done in the octagon and has re upped with WWE. Also let us know he’s walking out with the belt Sunday and I’m ready. 

Love this. Forget what I said last night. The uncertainty of the main event just made Wrestlemania must see. 

Hype hype hype.