Hit up Giant Eagle this afternoon for a weeks worth of lunch and came across this gem. I’ve already gone on the record saying there’s no such thing as an original idea anymore, so why not dig up an old classic. That’s not to say it can’t work, French Toast Crunch for example returned after a hiatus and has my undivided attention every morning for breakfast.

I bought the 3D’s and jumped right into them. They’re not the hollow triangles I remember and they’re more crunchy than any Dorito but it was a nice spicey chip so give it a shot if you’re into that kind of thing.

I have United Health Care Insurance through my job. Well I guess, in my office at least, they’re tired of covering pigs and began offering incentives for members to get it together. They did the blood screenings where I won back over $300 dollars a year with solid blood pressure, cholesterol, and glucose but missed on BMI. BMI by the way is a piece of shit, The Rocks obese by their standards, whoever invented that can kick rocks.

The last way they allow you to get another $100 off you annual premiums is to slap on a free Fitbit and average 10,000 steps a day during the six week program.

I’m a numbers guy, always have been. It’s why I pretended to be an engineering major before I was an accountant. Recently I bit hard on fantasy baseball because it was so number centric and I joked that it was like a drug. I’d distract myself at work during the day analyzing that evening’s matchups and dialed into any action I could.

Ha-ha “fantasy baseball is a drug right?”

Fuck.

No.

These Fitbits are pretty much boot top heroine. I’m the gambling addict in commercials who’s missed his kids birthday party.

You see, in addition to the program goal of 10,000 steps (give or take, about 5 miles) the Fitbit app my bracelet is connected to awards me with badges. And these badges feel good. Really good

Walked up 10 flights of stairs? Have a badge.

10,000 miles? Have a badge.

Badges are pretty much Cold Stone ice cream and I gotta have it… If you didn’t laugh at that zinger I crafted in my Fitbit delusion at 2am here’s another. Badges are pretty much Pokemon and I gotta have them all…

Saturday came and I finally had an entire day to get my 10,000 steps out of the way early you know what that meant? At 10:45 at night I wanted more. I needed more. I layered up and marched into the night. I wanted that 15k. Down the street, up the street, zig zagging, doing circles in the cul de sac.

I thought I had won, I had my 15,000. I walk in the front door ready to boast my achievement to my girlfriend and what is she doing? Marching up and down the hallway like a stir crazy junkie.

She also bought herself a Fitbit so her and I were then actively competing for steps in their “Weekend Warrior Contest.” She was hungry for steps too
so why not make a date out of it and go back out into the winter night for another walk.

Up the street, down the street, more circles in more cul de sacs. Finally we got to the couch, crashed down and review our progress on the app. It was 11:45 and I had just over 19,000.

Without hesitation I grabbed my coat and was back on the trail, except this time I was Jack Bauer up against the clock. Brisk walks turned into all out sprints. I only had a few minutes left in the day and needed that 20,000 badge.

Pretty sure I was ready to drop dead of a heart attack at any moment. By the time I finally slowed down and checked my Fitbit the clock had already struck midnight and thus the days counter had reset. I turned back to the house, marched up the stairs and opened my app and searched for the 20,000 step badge I had to have won.

I fell short by 204 steps… 204 steps. That’s as many as I rack up walking to the bathroom. I could have switched the Fitbit to my dominant hand and rubbed one out to get 204 virtual steps.

Fitbit has consumed me. I’m already chomping at the bit, ready for the sun to come up and I can get my 20,000 steps out of the way early just as I did the obligatory 10,000 the day prior.

I’m on a dangerous path but damnit it feels so good. Time to go to bed but don’t worry I’m still wearing my Fitbit. It tracks my sleep and charts out when I flail during the night indicating how terrible of a sleeper I am…

Can’t stop. Won’t stop. Gotta have it.

TMZ Floyd Mayweather Jr. is making it official what we already knew was coming for weeks — TMZ Sports has learned his fight with Manny Pacquiao is set, the deal is signed — and they’ll be getting it on in Vegas on May 2nd. As we previously reported, the two fighters reached an agreement to get in the ring back in January — and the major issues, including date and location have been set for weeks. The fight is expected to be the richest contest in boxing history — with both pugilists projected to take in well over 100 million dollars.
Good work if you can get it folks …

Right off the cuff this sounds like an awesome idea. But then I remember its not 2007 and I’ve already seen Pac get knocked the fuck out.

Sometimes you see what looks like a dime from across the bar, and when you get a little closer you notice she has a mustache and crooked nose and immediately forget you ever were mildly interested. Pacquiao is that dime.

The sad thing is how much stupid money is going to be wasted on this event. There’s no reason this should headline a marquee. Zero chance this looks anything like a quality boxing match and will be two guys dancing around for 12 rounds laughing at how rich they’re getting. I guess that’s why they’re The Money Team.

If they want to add any credibility to this bout, make it Celebrity Deathmatch rules with Stone Cold refereeing.

WTAE A Carnegie Mellon University student accused of shooting secret videos of people nude inside dorm showers is facing criminal charges and has been kicked out of school. Daniel Edilio Jorge, 19, of East Willison, New York, faces three counts of invading privacy. That’s how many identified victims chose to press charges. A search warrant turned up video of more than 30 male victims on his phone and hard drive, but most of them are not identifiable, police said. The videos appear to have been shot in the showers on the sixth floor of the Morewood Gardens E Tower dormitory. Some students reported Jorge to CMU when they spotted him holding up his iPhone over the shower stalls to capture images of them.

Another day another idiot of a criminal. Never mind the fact there are entire websites and subreddits of voyeur porn all over the internet, this guy goes all in using his iPhone to video tape dudes in the shower. Come on guy be better. If you’re going to be a creep at least incorporate some hidden cameras in the glory holes every college shower has. (College’s still have glory holes right?)

I’m no legal expert but I’m pretty sure if someones secretly video taping you in a public shower you are allowed to murder them on the spot. Again, don’t quote me, I just think the same rules in prison for child rapists apply here.

Also I love how little effort WTAE put into this video. Aside from shaming Daniel as he walks out of court, they jump the shark on illustrating the audio with the most literal visuals ever.

“CMU Police went after Jorge after students saw him pointing his iPhone”

“camera”

“over the stalls in shower”

It doesn’t stop there, when you click the link for that story’s transcript you get an all caps transcript with typos and even misspelling the creeps name.

CMU POLICE WENT AFTER GEORGE AFTER STUDENTS AW SAW HIM POINTING HIS iPHONE CAMERA OVER THE STALLS IN SHOWERS.

But don’t worry, the intern remembered to lowercase the “i” in “iPhone” correctly.

Side note: I was just watching an episode of The Americans on FX and one of the characters was excited his kid was accepted into Carnegie Mellon. I asked those around me if Carnegie Mellon was as relevant today as it was when the show took place in the 80’s. A day later they’re in the news, I guess that answers my question.

More continues to leak about next years Batman vs Superman and the latest today is the first shot of Aquaman. Thing he, it’s not your boy Vincent Chase. Not sure why Snyder didn’t go with the biggest movie star after he destroyed Spider-Man’s opening numbers.

I bet that vixen Mandy Moore got in his head….

Washington Post Early on Tuesday morning, NASA’s All-sky Fireball Network (which is a real thing that exists, for real) caught footage of a fiery space rock entering the atmosphere over Pennsylvania.

Oh boy here’s NASA again trying to turn the Twilight Zone into the Spin Zone and leading us to believe it was just a space rock. Here’s the thing, art imitates life and ET, Alf, and Roger from American Dad were all the result of these “space rocks”.

Time to hit up Kittanning and find the little bugger.

KDKAThe new lights will be able to monitor traffic flow and make adjustments based on the time of day and how many cars are traveling down the road. It’s a system that uses cameras, radar, and sensors to count vehicles second by second. “As traffic increases, the signal system will respond to that and automatically adjust so there won’t be any substantial delays on McKnight Road,” said Todd Kravits, P.E., PennDOT District 11 traffic engineer. The lights will also be connected to PennDOT’s Regional Transportation Management Center in Collier Township.

To quote the great Etta James…

Aaaaaaaat Laaaaaaast

If you’re a baller like me and live in the North Hills you’ve become an irate racist/sexist sitting in traffic on McKnight Road at some point. Penndot is finally going to answer our prayers and install an up to date system that uses cameras and radar to monitor flow.

The crazy part of the whole thing is it’s exactly how my 4 year old brain thought all traffic lights worked back in the day.

According to the story, these are actual people in Collier Township monitoring the cameras and not elves actually inside the lights as I once believed but “toe-may-toe/toe-mah-toe” right?

Also, anyone else not surprised this guy wasn’t excited for the changes but concerned there would be new cameras monitoring the street 24/7?

For weeks the official Pirates Twitter has been hyping up spring training and today we finally have baseball action. The last two years the Buccos have been fortunate enough to sell some playoff merch and look to build on that success this season.

Last year the big questions going into spring training surrounded the losses of AJ Burnett, Marlon Byrd, and Justin Morneau. This time around we’re welcoming back AJ, have found our guy in right field, and are hoping another Yankee retread at catcher can fill the void Russell Martin created when he shipped up to Toronto.

This is big right here. Before his call up Polanco was tearing the cover off the ball at every level. He bulked up this offseason training with Starling Marte and I really think this is the year we have two outfielders with explosive production carrying the offense.

Time for some K-Pop in the Burgh? Korean star Jung-Ho Kang has already gone on the record saying he can outplay Jordy Mercer and this spring we’ll see what we’ve got. Last season in Korea Kang batted .356/.459/.739 and slugged 40 homers driving in 117. There’s a lot of eye balls in the outfield looking for offensive production, it would be huge to get those kinds of numbers in the show from a shortstop.

MLB Network counted down the top ten relief pitchers in baseball right now and not one but two Pirates made the list. Baseball’s numbers God Bill James named Mark Melancon number 10 while Dan Plesac considered Jason Grilli number 9. The Royals made their run to the World Series last season essentially playing 7 inning games with a dominant bullpen. The Phillies in 08 did the same thing with Madson and Lidge. If Mark and Cheese can play to their potential in 2015 the Pirates will have a lethal back end and sniff the playoffs yet again.

Third times a charm? Time will tell.

Running joke has always been my dad resembles Vinny Mac. It would have always been awesome if true given that Vince likely swims in his vault in Greenwich CT like Scrooge McDuck, but I think now I wish it were true even more.

The money’s great, but having a dad like that with a open line of credit at the steroid store? Jackpot. I usually get defensive if you come at me with accusations that guys like The Rock are on the sauce but in this case I see no way around it, Vince is juicing and I’m all aboard this bandwagon.

I’m for steroids in sports, so why shouldn’t I be for steroids in the accounting office?

5:00 can’t get here soon enough….. tonight’s a GYM ON.

ABC News Don’t get too attached to your favorite “Game of Thrones” characters. The biggest surprise at the Writers Guild West Awards last night was the appearance of George R.R. Martin, whose best selling epic fantasy novels, “Song of Ice and Fire” are the basis for HBO’s mega hit, “Game Of Thrones” He doesn’t come to LA much and was treated like royalty at the event. Martin has a warning about the upcoming season. “People are going to die who don’t die in the books, so even the book readers will be unhappy. So everybody better be on their toes. David and D.B. (David Benioff and D.B. Weiss co-creators of ‘Game Of Thrones) are even bloodier than I am.”

Talk about a bomb shell being dropped ahead of the new season. If you watch the show with a book worm nerd they’re probably the clown who sets up a camera and filmed you during the Red Wedding. Guess what, now you’re both in the dark and its gonna be a bloodbath.

Love this move. It has been an issue for some time now, what’s going to happen when the fast moving show catches up with George Martin, the only author slower than Harper Lee? Now we know the show is going to divert from the course and while it is just as likely this turns into a dumpster fire I think there is a real chance of a big time payoff. Instead of half the audience loosing their mind and the other half making sure they tell you they knew it was coming, were going to have the entire audience losing their minds together.

My only hope is whoever gets slayed this season can act better than Lady Stark.

God forbid you trash the holy grail but that is literally the worst acting job. Someone in Hollywood must have made her aware of this because her death in 24 last summer deserved an Emmy.