When the first draft of the Pirates 2016 came out Thursday was an off day. It was the perfect off day between home games when it coincided with the Penguins potential clincher but thanks to some shitty weather on last months trip to Colorado, the Pirates have to fly out of one game on Thursday.

The good news is Clint Hurdle set a solid dress code for this short trip.

Jeff Locke is penciled in for Thursday’s start, that means they can leave Gerrit behind and cut him loose on Consol Energy Center again right?

Similarly, the Penguins might choose to push David Freese out of the plane over middle America if he show’s up in a Blues jersey.

I am no Punjabi expert but in 4 rounds of Penguins games I have picked up on some phrases the fellas like to use.

My latest Punjabi epiphany came last night when I connected the dots that “Phil Kessel” must mean points because each time we hear our favorite announcers drop that phrase the Penguins are putting points on the board.

Ian Cole opened it up with a goal but it was Phil Kessel facilitating when he commanded the attention of 4 Shark defenders.

Perfect example there of paying it forward because Phil got his later in the game. What do you know “Phil Kessel” meaning points again.

Eric Fehr went on to close it out and if you listen closely you can almost hear the disappointment when the boys realize there is only one game left for them to announcer and be center stage on the global platform.

BONINOBONINOBONINO remains the gold standard of calls but after that first Ian Cole goal I must say I wouldn’t mind bringing in these guys for every 5th Bucco game and providing us with some electric baseball calls when Gerrit is launching baseballs into the river.

There is nothing the baseball gods enjoy more than screwing with Pirates fans.

It’s why when they blessed us with stars like Andrew McCutchen and Starling Marte, they tossed in Neil Walker.  A guy who on the surface was the perfect person to become a franchise player but who frustrated fans and never connected like he ultimately should have.

It’s why the Pirates finally start winning games they’re stuck behind a Cardinal’s dynasty that makes no sense and sends us into rabbit holes of conspiracy theory’s trying to explain how all these random bums keep winning.

It’s why when they Buccos FINALLY make it to the playoffs they get stuck in one game matchups against the leagues premier pitchers.  It should also be noted, the baseball gods enjoy screwing with the Reds just a little bit more as they blessed the Reds with that mental midget, Johnny Cueto.

And now finally when the Cardinals aren’t the dominant NL Central team it makes perfect sense for this city that the Cubs had been building an army of their own and now are on pace to win the most games of a season.

Currently sitting at 30-26 the Pirates are on the same pace as 2015 when they won the second most games in baseball.  Sure in the last week they may have lost a few more games than they should have to some lesser competition but that’s baseball.

Things came to a head yesterday Andrew McCutchen got the 56th game off and all of a sudden the people are freaking out.

Side Note: He got the 57th game off last year and nobody freaked out…..

Then everyone’s favorite center fielder apparently lit the match for the cities baseball frustrations who were already on edge after then Pen’s also lost Saturday.

Decent joke I think we can all relate to but unfortunately he was the husband who essentially told his thousands of wives [fans] to calm down while welllllll onto her period.

https://twitter.com/mdelbianco27/status/739660642567749632

My favorite part about this however is that Cutch showed his human side and began firing back.  This is the time of crisis when you get to see what your guy is all about and hope he doesn’t freak out and go postal and lose the entire city.

Got Heeeeeeeem

Side Note 2: Kudos to the people who can play nice and make your boy laugh

Major announcement in the MMA World Tonight. After Dana White lost Connor McGregor he went back to the well for the only other big name on the guys side of the octagon.  

Gotta wonder if Vinny Mac swindled some kind of trade to get Rhonda Rousey over in a WWE ring and finish the job on Steph.

Side Note: Brace yourself… The flood gates of CM Punk return rumors are opening up…..

This is why you don’t get nice things people.

The Pens arena wasn’t big enough for all the rabid fans, that’s how you do a the Stanley Cup finals.

2-0 and it feels so good. After the whole world seemed to have joined us on the Hockey Night Punjabi bandwagon after game 1, the boys were back at it again voicing the Penguins second win of the series.

Ohhhhh you know he was CHOMPING at the possibility of Nick Bonino putting that one in and letting loose. Not saying a Phil Kessel call is ever less than ideal, but we could have had ourselves quite the encore if 13 lit the lamp.

But onto the game winner. When the Sharks tied it up sure our stomachs got a bit tighter but there was a silver diamond lining… A Punjabi announced overtime game winner!? Sign me up.

And sure enough, once Sidney drew it up it was time to execute and we got quite the call.

I’m all for “Party Hard” but we might have a new goal song if we’re gonna run with “SHER BAN KE”

Remaining partial, I think BONINOBONINOBONINOBONINOBONINO may still be the leader in the clubhouse….

Afterall it does have an official T Shirt over at Center Field Smoke….

Deadspin Individual plays carry the day. And Conor Sheary’s overtime winner was one play that went precisely according to plan. Sheary’s goal, from Kris Letang and Sidney Crosby at 2:35 of the extra frame, was a designed play, drawn up by Crosby in the moments before the faceoff. “He said he was going to win it to me, that’s it,” Letang said. “He was going to win it to me and I had to find Sheary.”

A commenter on Deadspin also added the iso-cam fotoage just before the faceoff where you can see the captain directing his guys.

Sorry Sidney can’t score the game winning goal in every single contest but this right here speaks volumes to how major a player he is on his way to his second Cup.

This whole sequence, starting with the faceoff, is the gift that keeps on giving.  Starting with the goal and continuing with this nugget, it only gets better when you add in Logan Couture’s comments post game.

If Logan could throw his controller down and walk out of the arena he would have.

Sidenote: Did you get your BONINOBONINOBONINO T Shirt yet over at Center Field Smoke? It’s becoming all the rage and will look dy-no-mite at the parade….

If you’re new to the site then you aren’t aware with how much we love the fine folks over at Hockey Night Punjabi.  In a world where we set Doc Emrick as the gold standard, Randip Janda, Harpreet Pandher, and Bhupinder Hundal absolutely bring it night in and night out.

Don’t believe me? See for yourself.

That’s a 7 second Connor Sheary if you’re keeping score at home.

Now that we’ve given you a taste, you should know going into this game winner that it has first ballot hall of fame credentials and will live on in infamy when the Penguins hoist the cup…

Yes you certainly did bless my timeline.  9 back to back Bonino’s followed by a strong 7 second “Nick Bonino” that would cripple any other man’s voice.

This T-Shirt pretty much sells itself at this point….

For years the MLB has cashed in on the rise of Americana with special uniforms for the summer holidays that usually includes some kind of camo, stars n stripes and or red, white, & blue. 

This years Memorial Day is nothing new with the entire league going with camouflage. 

Camo uniforms are not foreign to the Pirates as they’ve worn their own set for years including this year for all Thursday home games. 

The good news is since all the teams will be wearing camo Monday we’re lucky enough to miss out on another repug uniform matchup like we had this past Thursday. 

There used to be a time when it was easy to buy stuff. Just swipe your card and be on your way. Then some asshole starting robbing people and soon the only answer banks had was to put some chip in your card that acted like a bucket of ice on your shopping boner. 

Not only did they spring a new card on you, but it meant all those companies who had your prior card on file would start blowing up your phone because the old one stopped working. I hate talking to my friends on the phone what makes you think I want to talk to some jabroni on the phone?

Then when you finally whip out that new card and try to swipe your met with a repug buzzer sound. Now you’re standing at the cash register and look like you just got declined because you’re a poor person. How didn’t a focus group point this out and change the sound in the machines to something like an old fashioned cash register sound?

There used to be a card commercial where they spent 40 seconds showing you how smooth swiping your card was and how life was just quicker than pulling out cash and fucking everything up.

If this is all a scheme to abandon cards and just carry bank rolls everywhere it’s working. If I didn’t spend hundreds on some fancy hybrid memory foam mattress (humble brag) I would be cutting holes in it right this second and hiding away my millions hundreds.